Several weeks ago (was it months?) A Fuse #8 posted - over time - the top 100 children's books, based on her insight as well as those of her readers. I decided to use that list for my very special, two-member, book club. At our first club meeting, I was talking about the books on the list with my adorable granddaughter and mentioned that the #1 book of all time appeared to be something she had already read, Charlotte's Web, to which she replied that she had never actually read the book, she'd only watched the movie! AUGH!!! As I discussed other titles with her, the same theme was repeated. It seems that my adorable book club member is reluctant to leave her comfort zone of Junie B and other wonderful little books like it, to read the books more suitable to her age. I completely understand that problem.
Three years ago I was hired to teach language arts at a lovely private school. One of my students was the granddaughter of the foundation owner who had started the school. She was in the 7th grade and read books all the time. I wasn't a bit worried about her... until I started reading her journal entries... The Boxcar Children (#1-35), Mandie this and that... I remember our reader conference quite well. I told 'A' that she couldn't use those series for her journals anymore, that I wanted her to read books that were more suitable to her age and abilities. She was devastated! She loved those books and told me that she just couldn't give them up, that they made her feel so warm and comfortable. I told her that she could read them all she wanted but that she had to have other titles for her journals. Then I made a bee-line for her mother's office and explained what had happened. 'A' was in tears over my decision and I didn't need problems with the founder's granddaughter. I gave transition suggestions to mom, including some appropriate read-aloud titles that she could enjoy with her parents. Her mother laughed and thanked me for the warning. Then she called 'A's dad who brilliantly started with the Chronicles of Narnia series, then The Hobbit, and on to the Lord of the Rings trilogy. By the time 'A' got through volume 1 of the Chronicles, she was a believer and embraced the other titles with complete energy and commitment. Plus she and her father developed an even closer bond, thanks to the renewal of an old bedtime ritual. I sat by him at a volleyball game one day and he thanked me profusely.
For this reason, I am not worried about my adorable book club member. She and 'A' are a lot alike. Both are/were stuck in a comfort place. I don't know why 'A' got stuck but I know that Kayla is reading the same titles that she read almost four years ago when she moved from her little, old house to the new, much bigger one on five acres in the country. She went from a busy neighborhood, teaming with children, to an isolated place with no friends... for a while. Eventually she met another little girl around the corner but it was a very different kind of home and for a long while, she mourned her old neighborhood. In fact, for two years her parents could not go back to the area without Kayla dissolving into tears. Kayla's books are her only remaining friends from her old neighborhood. So, like I did with 'A', I told Kayla to keep reading her old friends but that I would be giving her other books to read and when she completed a book, we would go out to lunch again to talk about it. She looked at me and quite matter-of-factly told me she would be ready next week. Nothing quite like lunch with grandma (followed by shopping with grandma) to induce a little girl to explore the unknown!
Saturday, July 03, 2010
Friday, July 02, 2010
Banana Bread
My husband is going to be so excited! I found three rotten bananas in the fruit bowl this morning and decided to make banana bread. T really loves it. I have planned to make it many times and often stored rotten bananas in the freezer. After a while (years) the frozen bananas were discarded and others took their place. I just knew if I put them in the freezer, these bananas would meet the same demise so I did it - using a recipe from my friend Sheraz, found in a QCS cookbook, I made banana bread. It's baking right now and smells so good!
I also made strawberry freezer jam. I have never done this before but when my kids were over at our house a couple weeks ago, grandson C wanted a pb&j sandwich and he wanted strawberry jam. I had blackberry and cherry. He ate the cherry but really, he would have preferred strawberry. Spooners Farm's strawberries are finally out so I bought a flat, some pectin, white sugar, and followed an easy recipe that I found on the internet. Haven't tried it yet but C is coming over on Sunday and I'll bring it out then. I'm hopeful.
A domestic goddess I am not. But the momentary escapades with homemaking duties can be fun as long as I can get back to the classroom in the fall. Then I'll buy banana muffins from Top Foods and jam made by Smuckers. It's okay, I am quite sure I'm a better teacher than baker or cook!
I also made strawberry freezer jam. I have never done this before but when my kids were over at our house a couple weeks ago, grandson C wanted a pb&j sandwich and he wanted strawberry jam. I had blackberry and cherry. He ate the cherry but really, he would have preferred strawberry. Spooners Farm's strawberries are finally out so I bought a flat, some pectin, white sugar, and followed an easy recipe that I found on the internet. Haven't tried it yet but C is coming over on Sunday and I'll bring it out then. I'm hopeful.
A domestic goddess I am not. But the momentary escapades with homemaking duties can be fun as long as I can get back to the classroom in the fall. Then I'll buy banana muffins from Top Foods and jam made by Smuckers. It's okay, I am quite sure I'm a better teacher than baker or cook!
Thursday, July 01, 2010
Making Summer Matter
I've been really focused on living purposefully each day this summer. I have planned days with each of my grandchildren who live nearby, days with my mother, and a few days with some friends who I am rarely able to see outside of school or church. My weekends with my husband are unplanned because I prefer to let him make the choices. He's the one who has to work all summer so he should have control over the two days each week that he doesn't go to the office!
One of the activities that we have given our weekends to is re-landscaping our backyard. At least 85% of our backyard is perfect, big trees, shrubs, ferns, waterfall and pond, patio with excellent slate-topped table and comfortable chairs, glider-for-two, big BBQ... but there's that 15% that has been a virtual jungle. Last Saturday T razed the hillside and started planning the "hiking path" for the grandkids. It's really planned with the three-year-old in mind; she's the one who will think it's cool because she's still so little. Yesterday a friend who works for us from time to time came over to rebuilt the rock foundation wall. It's great! Now we need him to come back for phase 2, the path up the hill. We're going to get some landscape timbers to put in as steps and to help ward off erosion. Phase 3 will involve digging ferns located in our son's five-acre forest and transplanting them to our hillside. Phase 4 is installing a terraced retaining wall on the west side of our house. This will actually include the switchback for the hillside trail. The upper level of our terrace will have large, evergreen shrubs that flower and the lower level will be home to my vegetable garden.
My husband mocks the idea of me growing vegetables! Last year I grew lettuce. It grew and we ate it and it was lovely! This year I have four tomato plants and lettuce. We're already eating lettuce but the tomatoes are a long way off as yet. IF we can get the garden area ready in time, I want to plant ONE start of each of the following: zucchini, cucumbers, and pumpkins, as well as put my tomatoes that are currently in pots into the ground. I do not intend to become a slave to my garden nor plant more than we can use. Although, I have heard that the food banks do take extra produce from over-zealous gardeners. That would be really cool! Plant part of my garden with the intention to give it to the food bank or the UGM. We love eating fresh, organic produce and I'm sure that people who are needing this service would really enjoy fresh food and would receive a health benefit from it even if they didn't recognize it as such.
So even though today is quite overcast and a bit drizzly, it's the day I planned to finish mulching my mother's garden and I am going to do it! Plus we'll have lunch together and just enjoy hanging out. It's already been a good idea to live my summer days with purpose and I still have the majority of my summer to enjoy. Love it!
One of the activities that we have given our weekends to is re-landscaping our backyard. At least 85% of our backyard is perfect, big trees, shrubs, ferns, waterfall and pond, patio with excellent slate-topped table and comfortable chairs, glider-for-two, big BBQ... but there's that 15% that has been a virtual jungle. Last Saturday T razed the hillside and started planning the "hiking path" for the grandkids. It's really planned with the three-year-old in mind; she's the one who will think it's cool because she's still so little. Yesterday a friend who works for us from time to time came over to rebuilt the rock foundation wall. It's great! Now we need him to come back for phase 2, the path up the hill. We're going to get some landscape timbers to put in as steps and to help ward off erosion. Phase 3 will involve digging ferns located in our son's five-acre forest and transplanting them to our hillside. Phase 4 is installing a terraced retaining wall on the west side of our house. This will actually include the switchback for the hillside trail. The upper level of our terrace will have large, evergreen shrubs that flower and the lower level will be home to my vegetable garden.
My husband mocks the idea of me growing vegetables! Last year I grew lettuce. It grew and we ate it and it was lovely! This year I have four tomato plants and lettuce. We're already eating lettuce but the tomatoes are a long way off as yet. IF we can get the garden area ready in time, I want to plant ONE start of each of the following: zucchini, cucumbers, and pumpkins, as well as put my tomatoes that are currently in pots into the ground. I do not intend to become a slave to my garden nor plant more than we can use. Although, I have heard that the food banks do take extra produce from over-zealous gardeners. That would be really cool! Plant part of my garden with the intention to give it to the food bank or the UGM. We love eating fresh, organic produce and I'm sure that people who are needing this service would really enjoy fresh food and would receive a health benefit from it even if they didn't recognize it as such.
So even though today is quite overcast and a bit drizzly, it's the day I planned to finish mulching my mother's garden and I am going to do it! Plus we'll have lunch together and just enjoy hanging out. It's already been a good idea to live my summer days with purpose and I still have the majority of my summer to enjoy. Love it!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Books
I am in the process of reviewing the books my junior high students read each year. I did at least skim read them before I purchased six copies of each for my literature circles. Some I have read thoroughly. I have chosen two sets of book titles based on wars. I don't know that this is a good thing but the coming of age theme is always a good idea for junior high and nothing grows a child to adulthood like war! For all of my themed studies I've tried to choose books that range from about a 5th grade level up through 8th or 9th grade. I haven't gone higher than this, even though I have many students who are post high school in their reading abilities, because my goal is to teach the literary elements through these novel studies. It does seem to be working and my students enjoy the freedom of discussing their books in small groups.
I would like to develop a study revolving around the American War for Independence but for now, my students read Johnny Tremain by Esther Forbes and Mr. Revere and I by Robert Lawson. Johnny Tremain is an old classic that does a great job of developing characters as well as introducing a lot of historical characters and events in a realistic manner. Students read this early in the year and learn to write a character analysis as well as pick up lots of history along the way. A couple years ago, I taught this to one of my classes early in the year and the other class a couple months later. The US History teacher was complimenting the class of students who had read the novel, saying they were so well prepared for their study of the American Revolution, especially compared to the other class which knew little or nothing. I really hesitate to use this book because it is such an easy read but I'm still doing it. If I ever find another than presents the subject as well on a higher reading level, I'll buy it.
My first themed study for literature circles is the Civil War. Students read a range of books including Red Cap by G. Clifton Wisler, Elijah of Buxton by Christopher Paul Curtis, Freedom Crossing by Margaret Goff Clark, Across Five Aprils by Irene Hunt, Rifles for Watie by Harold Keith, and Which Way Freedom by Joyce Hansen. I'm on the lookout for two more so if anyone has a recommendation, bring it on! This, of course, introduces the whole concept of slavery and our discussions are intense! I'm sure it helps to live in the Northwest; we can be incensed, appalled, and probably a bit arrogant in our opinions since "we" didn't do it! It's a good time to inform junior high students that slavery, especially child slavery, still exists today and that we need to do all we can to eliminate this horror!
Toward the end of the year I introduce World War II or Holocaust novels. There are tons of these but I have a new favorite: I Am David by Anne Holm. We read others such as The Diary of a Young Girl - Anne Frank, Behind the Secret Window - Nelly S. Toll, Daniel's Story - Carol Matas, and The Hiding Place - Corrie Ten Boom, but I Am David is quite a special story. It grips me that he had to teach himself to smile. Although just a momentary pause in the overall story, David's fear for an infant was palatable. He couldn't remember seeing a baby so small and and knew she could not defend herself or know enough to be invisible around them. I love his decision to have a God and how he calls upon "the God of green pastures and still waters to help him" - to become his compass. David is quite a believable kid, doing unbelievable things. Sadly, the more I read of this era, the more the unbelievable becomes the expected.
Another book I really, really like is A Single Shard by Linda Sue Park. I teach this as a class novel study. We have several Korean students who are a part of our junior high and I really wanted to introduce a book that would honor their culture and inform our students. A Single Shard portrays a 12th century, homeless, Korean, peasant boy who longs to become a potter. The ethics taught in this book are fabulous! Poverty is no excuse for lying, stealing, or doing wrong in any way. One of my personal goals for my students is to help them to kick it up a notch, to do the right thing because it is right not easy. This book is a great reinforcement for that idea. It is with this book that I teach writing a research paper with bibliography and all. I just picked up six copies of another Park book: Archer's Quest. I'll admit it, I bought it without reading more than the back cover. I also want to buy her novel The Kite Fighters but haven't done so as yet.
I teach a lot of other books throughout the year. I love teaching English through literature. I do have a basal series but I pick and choose what I use (not much). I also have the Write Source curriculum, the Wordly Wise workbooks (love them, even though it is random vocab). WW is a quick way to learn roots, antonyms and synonyms, prefixes and suffixes, and analogies. My students maintain reading journals with the help of 35 questions I found somewhere on the internet, actually I've compiled this list of questions from many I've found on the web.
I teach a Writer's Workshop as well. I love using Gail Carson Levine's book Writing Magic for mini-lessons. It's such a practical book but that's another post for another day. Time to get moving - the sun is shining!!! And that's a big deal in Washington state!
I would like to develop a study revolving around the American War for Independence but for now, my students read Johnny Tremain by Esther Forbes and Mr. Revere and I by Robert Lawson. Johnny Tremain is an old classic that does a great job of developing characters as well as introducing a lot of historical characters and events in a realistic manner. Students read this early in the year and learn to write a character analysis as well as pick up lots of history along the way. A couple years ago, I taught this to one of my classes early in the year and the other class a couple months later. The US History teacher was complimenting the class of students who had read the novel, saying they were so well prepared for their study of the American Revolution, especially compared to the other class which knew little or nothing. I really hesitate to use this book because it is such an easy read but I'm still doing it. If I ever find another than presents the subject as well on a higher reading level, I'll buy it.
My first themed study for literature circles is the Civil War. Students read a range of books including Red Cap by G. Clifton Wisler, Elijah of Buxton by Christopher Paul Curtis, Freedom Crossing by Margaret Goff Clark, Across Five Aprils by Irene Hunt, Rifles for Watie by Harold Keith, and Which Way Freedom by Joyce Hansen. I'm on the lookout for two more so if anyone has a recommendation, bring it on! This, of course, introduces the whole concept of slavery and our discussions are intense! I'm sure it helps to live in the Northwest; we can be incensed, appalled, and probably a bit arrogant in our opinions since "we" didn't do it! It's a good time to inform junior high students that slavery, especially child slavery, still exists today and that we need to do all we can to eliminate this horror!
Toward the end of the year I introduce World War II or Holocaust novels. There are tons of these but I have a new favorite: I Am David by Anne Holm. We read others such as The Diary of a Young Girl - Anne Frank, Behind the Secret Window - Nelly S. Toll, Daniel's Story - Carol Matas, and The Hiding Place - Corrie Ten Boom, but I Am David is quite a special story. It grips me that he had to teach himself to smile. Although just a momentary pause in the overall story, David's fear for an infant was palatable. He couldn't remember seeing a baby so small and and knew she could not defend herself or know enough to be invisible around them. I love his decision to have a God and how he calls upon "the God of green pastures and still waters to help him" - to become his compass. David is quite a believable kid, doing unbelievable things. Sadly, the more I read of this era, the more the unbelievable becomes the expected.
Another book I really, really like is A Single Shard by Linda Sue Park. I teach this as a class novel study. We have several Korean students who are a part of our junior high and I really wanted to introduce a book that would honor their culture and inform our students. A Single Shard portrays a 12th century, homeless, Korean, peasant boy who longs to become a potter. The ethics taught in this book are fabulous! Poverty is no excuse for lying, stealing, or doing wrong in any way. One of my personal goals for my students is to help them to kick it up a notch, to do the right thing because it is right not easy. This book is a great reinforcement for that idea. It is with this book that I teach writing a research paper with bibliography and all. I just picked up six copies of another Park book: Archer's Quest. I'll admit it, I bought it without reading more than the back cover. I also want to buy her novel The Kite Fighters but haven't done so as yet.
I teach a lot of other books throughout the year. I love teaching English through literature. I do have a basal series but I pick and choose what I use (not much). I also have the Write Source curriculum, the Wordly Wise workbooks (love them, even though it is random vocab). WW is a quick way to learn roots, antonyms and synonyms, prefixes and suffixes, and analogies. My students maintain reading journals with the help of 35 questions I found somewhere on the internet, actually I've compiled this list of questions from many I've found on the web.
I teach a Writer's Workshop as well. I love using Gail Carson Levine's book Writing Magic for mini-lessons. It's such a practical book but that's another post for another day. Time to get moving - the sun is shining!!! And that's a big deal in Washington state!
Monday, June 28, 2010
Life in the Park
Yesterday my husband and I went to Frye Cove County Park. This is so out of the way that I didn't even know it existed! We went for a short hike, down to the inlet, and just up and down trails in general. The vegetation is so dense that there were actually few birds in the area. But the forest smell was heavenly and the beauty of the water and mountains in the distance: breathtaking!
I live in a residential area that resembles a park. It's called Timberlake. The word says it all - we are surrounded by evergreens that are 40-50 feet tall and six houses down hill, at the end of my street, the lake begins. The development is about 50 years old. Our house is 42 years old. The houses in this development are pretty much all simple ramblers, ranch-style homes of about 2000 square feet on quarter acre lots. It's so nice to have space around us for the trees and gardens. We have deer, raccoons, squirrels, rabbits, tons of birds. One neighbor saw a coyote near the lake last week. We are on the migration routes for ducks and geese, thanks to the long lake, I'm sure. Living in the northwest is so different from other parts of the USA. It's a lot cooler for one thing. This morning, at nearly 9 o'clock, it's not yet 60 degrees and the sounds and smells are quite reminiscent of yesterday's walk in the park. I actually hear and see more birds and the water is fresh water, not salt water, but the beauty of life in the park is quite the same. I love the peace and serenity it brings.
I live in a residential area that resembles a park. It's called Timberlake. The word says it all - we are surrounded by evergreens that are 40-50 feet tall and six houses down hill, at the end of my street, the lake begins. The development is about 50 years old. Our house is 42 years old. The houses in this development are pretty much all simple ramblers, ranch-style homes of about 2000 square feet on quarter acre lots. It's so nice to have space around us for the trees and gardens. We have deer, raccoons, squirrels, rabbits, tons of birds. One neighbor saw a coyote near the lake last week. We are on the migration routes for ducks and geese, thanks to the long lake, I'm sure. Living in the northwest is so different from other parts of the USA. It's a lot cooler for one thing. This morning, at nearly 9 o'clock, it's not yet 60 degrees and the sounds and smells are quite reminiscent of yesterday's walk in the park. I actually hear and see more birds and the water is fresh water, not salt water, but the beauty of life in the park is quite the same. I love the peace and serenity it brings.
Friday, June 25, 2010
A Different Perspective
I noticed people posting TGIF on their Facebook entries today and thought to myself, "It's Friday?" That is one of the things that happens to me when summer vacation hits, I don't know what day of the week it is and I certainly couldn't tell you the date! Well that's not quite true - today is June 25th and I know this because yesterday was the 24th, my Gracie's second birthday. We began our morning with her. Actually, she's in France - lives there with her parents - but through the wonder of iChat we were able to sing "Happy Birthday" and watch her open her present from us, a tricycle! Thank you Amazon.fr! Oh we miss her, but we are so very thankful for the gift of technology that allows us to see and experience her life in real time!
It is certainly different to live overseas these days. When we first left the states, I determined to stay in contact with my family so I began writing 'family letters' using six sheets of typing paper, carbon paper, and my manual typewriter! Good grief! It has not been 30 years yet but when was the last time anyone had a thought about a typewriter. I tried to explain it to Kayla one day, telling her that I had to push a lever to get to the next line of type - she was so confused. Anyway, my family letters... I always felt sorry for the person who received copy number six and would try to rotate the receiver so that everyone had the opportunity of receiving a clear copy at some time during the year. But my mother always received the first copy, the truly typed copy. She was, and still is today, my hero! But that's another post.
My family letters were blogs of sorts, rambling entries of our days, cute sayings from the boys, odd moments of loneliness or happiness, depending on our state of being at the time. We were in Haiti when the internet became a true force in the modern world. We never thought it could work in Haiti - but it did - and it revolutionized communication in that poverty infected nation forever. What a tool it was post-earthquake. I spent literally hours every day connecting needs with resources via the internet. What a difference it made! A-m-a-z-i-n-g!
So... right... today is Friday, June 25, 2010. I normally write the date on the whiteboard in my classroom each morning. During school I know what day it is, what the date is... but now, I am enjoying my summer vacation. Every tiny moment I have! I'll get back to knowing the date in a few weeks.
It is certainly different to live overseas these days. When we first left the states, I determined to stay in contact with my family so I began writing 'family letters' using six sheets of typing paper, carbon paper, and my manual typewriter! Good grief! It has not been 30 years yet but when was the last time anyone had a thought about a typewriter. I tried to explain it to Kayla one day, telling her that I had to push a lever to get to the next line of type - she was so confused. Anyway, my family letters... I always felt sorry for the person who received copy number six and would try to rotate the receiver so that everyone had the opportunity of receiving a clear copy at some time during the year. But my mother always received the first copy, the truly typed copy. She was, and still is today, my hero! But that's another post.
My family letters were blogs of sorts, rambling entries of our days, cute sayings from the boys, odd moments of loneliness or happiness, depending on our state of being at the time. We were in Haiti when the internet became a true force in the modern world. We never thought it could work in Haiti - but it did - and it revolutionized communication in that poverty infected nation forever. What a tool it was post-earthquake. I spent literally hours every day connecting needs with resources via the internet. What a difference it made! A-m-a-z-i-n-g!
So... right... today is Friday, June 25, 2010. I normally write the date on the whiteboard in my classroom each morning. During school I know what day it is, what the date is... but now, I am enjoying my summer vacation. Every tiny moment I have! I'll get back to knowing the date in a few weeks.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Speaking Truth Into Existence
Last Saturday, Sierra turned three. This is an amazing child. She is a creator - according to her father, Sierra speaks truth into existence. Earlier last week, I spent the day with Sierra. We did all kinds of fun things together but at some point, we talked about her approaching birthday. I asked her if she was going to have a party and she emphatically responded, "Yes! I am going to have a Princess Party!" I was impressed. This little girl loves playing with trucks in the sand, throwing baseballs with her brother and father, doing anything the big kids are doing, and she loves to dance. Whenever she decides to dance, she puts on a beautiful, pink, organdy dress that just floats. That's the only time she is princess-ish so for her to have a Princess Party - that's a big deal. So I asked her who was coming to her party and she told me that I would be attending her party. Hmmm... really? So why hadn't her mother told me about it? The next time I saw her mom, I mentioned the Princess Party. She didn't know a thing about it. There was no Princess Party... there was no party! I was concerned; my granddaughter was expecting a party. I asked if I could plan just a family party for her and her mother was delighted that I wanted to do this. So I went to Target... I love Target... and bought everything I needed for a Princess Party. Saturday, her birthday, I sent my husband to the store for beautiful cupcakes. I can make cupcakes but I don't have the patience to make beautiful cupcakes. I had purchased a cupcake holder that sets them up in tiers - very cool. Then I remembered that Sierra had mentioned a balloon and I hadn't told my husband to get a balloon! I called - I love cell phones - and he told me that he had purchased a package of them. What a guy! Thinking in the store, not after he got home! T came home, blew up balloons, tied three of them to the lamppost and scattered the rest over the entryway floor. We were ready. Sierra came in, followed by her brother and sister and her parents. We had a great day - a wonderful party - relaxing, celebratory, just perfect. Later, I was talking with my son about the party that almost wasn't and he informed me that Sierra does that... she speaks truth into existence. In the most matter of fact way possible she simply says what she thinks needs to happen. And she says it again and again and again until it does happen. Amazing. I am so glad she did because the entire day was perfect. It was a Party fit for a Princess and the entire royal family.
Monday, June 21, 2010
New Summer Book Club
I have just organized a new summer book club. I actually began the process just before school was out so we would be ready for our summer vacation. There are only two members in this club: Me... and my granddaughter, Kayla. I am so excited! She is a great reader but I wanted to share some of my childhood faves with her so we are starting this Wednesday with Betsy-Tacy by Maud Hart Lovelace. We will do lunch, somewhere nice, chat about the book (which she read in a couple days) and then head to a book store. I have a gift card that a wonderful parent gave me as a thank you for dealing with her difficult son. I SO earned that card! Kayla also had a difficult year at school this year. Her teacher was a down-sized administrator who was angry at the budget cuts that put him back in the classroom. It was NOT the year I had hoped she would have, especially in fourth grade, such a pivotal year. There's not much I can do to help her with math but I can build her understanding of literature and introduce her to more writing ideas. Although, thankfully, the writing specialist has not been eliminated so she still receives a ton of encouragement and instruction in writing. I am really hoping that my summer book club becomes a tradition for us. This child is God's special gift to me. I have four younger brothers, married a man with two brothers, gave birth to two sons, and when my firstborn announced that his wife was pregnant, I dared to hope (yep, I even prayed) that I would be buying pink! And there she was - my Kayla Rose - first flower in a garden of little girls plus one lone boy... until this fall when his first male cousin enters the world. So I have some work to do as I plan my first club meeting. I want to see what she knows about the elements of literature and discuss them, one or two at a time. I also need to choose book two. And I just want to enjoy my little girl who will be ten years old in August. She is growing up so fast and I don't want to miss a moment of this joy that she so freely gives me! (deep, contented sigh)
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Blessed
I feel so blessed. It's literally embarrassing how blessed I feel. I know that life has not been easy; I'm not saying that. I am saying that through everything, God has richly blessed us by walking with us - holding hands kind of walking.
Early in our marriage, my husband developed a fever of undetermined origin. He spiked at 106.5 degrees for seven weeks. The doctors were helpless to heal him; they just treated it, doing all they could to bring it down. Meds didn't work but ice wraps and such helped. We went overseas as missionaries and twice in the six years that we lived in Martinique, the fever returned. Our doctor (yes, socialized medicine and all) was able to find a medication that worked, bringing the fever down to around 102 degrees. The first time it hung on for four and a half weeks, the second time about two weeks. It never returned.
While he was in college, our older son fell from a fence top on a construction site, broke some ribs, but missed the rebar sticking out of the concrete block where he fell... missed it by a couple inches. A few years later, our younger son was in a terrible car accident on icy roads. He was driving my cousin's BMW. Just before pulling onto the road, he noticed that his cousin didn't have her seatbelt on and he waited while she hooked it up. Seven minutes later they were up-side-down in a ditch. They walked away with a scratch on his hand where he had hit the window glass in order to make enough room to crawl out of the car. My cousin had planned to sell that car; insurance gave him $2000 more than what he was going to ask for it.
In December 2001, my dad had a stroke. He had been having TMIs over time but this one was bigger. He was in rehab, seemed to be doing well, and it was time for my husband and I to return to Haiti for the two week marathon of annual meetings. Eleven meetings in twelve days all over that country. My younger brother kept calling and asking me to come home instead. He was the only one of my four brothers who insisted that I come, the only one who didn't think my dad would go home again. I prayed and decided to listen to my brother. My husband went to Haiti and I flew into Seattle. For a week and a half, all was well with my father and it seemed that my trip was not really necessary. On January 15th, during rehab, the blood clot in my father's head cut loose and went to his heart. The therapists couldn't elevate my dad enough so I climbed onto the rehab table and held him in my arms. I talked to him, prayed with him, and let him go home to heaven. My brother was right... my dad died at the very moment I would have been landing in Seattle if I hadn't changed my plans.
Less than three years later my husband was diagnosed with an extremely rare cancer. We went to various specialists in Miami for five months while each new physician repeated the tests already given by the others. Finally in frustration, we contacted MD Anderson Cancer Center, a part of the University of Texas hospital system, and self-referred. Within two weeks (August) T was accepted as a patient. Within a month (September) he was scheduled for surgery. By the end of the year he lost his right eye, endured six weeks of daily radiation, and began a five year journey of trips to Houston TX for follow-up testing. In 2009 he was set free from the process and told to live his life.
Today is Father's Day 2010. This morning my husband preached in a church whose pastor is on sabbatical. He spoke from John 13, the ministry of the towel - servant leadership. I sat in church and thanked God for walking with us, for giving us opportunities to experience His intimate presence. I thanked Him for giving us the strength to continue in ministries that are very fatiguing yet so important: equipping the next generation to be Christ-like leaders through Christian Education.
Recently, I have been following the blogs of several people who are in the depths of suffering. Nearly all have children who have been afflicted with cancer or a traumatic brain injury. I do not know any of these people personally but I pray for them, for their kids, for their minds to be renewed. I am so grateful to know God intimately. These people will also get to know Him better than they ever imagined possible. I am also grateful for this moment in time, a reflection on what has gone before and a time to give thanks.
It's Father's Day 2010. My father is in heaven. My husband is here with me. My two sons, both fathers, are with their children, loving, caring, providing for them. I am blessed. It's embarrassing how very blessed I am and I am so grateful for the blessing. Thank you God, my Father.
Early in our marriage, my husband developed a fever of undetermined origin. He spiked at 106.5 degrees for seven weeks. The doctors were helpless to heal him; they just treated it, doing all they could to bring it down. Meds didn't work but ice wraps and such helped. We went overseas as missionaries and twice in the six years that we lived in Martinique, the fever returned. Our doctor (yes, socialized medicine and all) was able to find a medication that worked, bringing the fever down to around 102 degrees. The first time it hung on for four and a half weeks, the second time about two weeks. It never returned.
While he was in college, our older son fell from a fence top on a construction site, broke some ribs, but missed the rebar sticking out of the concrete block where he fell... missed it by a couple inches. A few years later, our younger son was in a terrible car accident on icy roads. He was driving my cousin's BMW. Just before pulling onto the road, he noticed that his cousin didn't have her seatbelt on and he waited while she hooked it up. Seven minutes later they were up-side-down in a ditch. They walked away with a scratch on his hand where he had hit the window glass in order to make enough room to crawl out of the car. My cousin had planned to sell that car; insurance gave him $2000 more than what he was going to ask for it.
In December 2001, my dad had a stroke. He had been having TMIs over time but this one was bigger. He was in rehab, seemed to be doing well, and it was time for my husband and I to return to Haiti for the two week marathon of annual meetings. Eleven meetings in twelve days all over that country. My younger brother kept calling and asking me to come home instead. He was the only one of my four brothers who insisted that I come, the only one who didn't think my dad would go home again. I prayed and decided to listen to my brother. My husband went to Haiti and I flew into Seattle. For a week and a half, all was well with my father and it seemed that my trip was not really necessary. On January 15th, during rehab, the blood clot in my father's head cut loose and went to his heart. The therapists couldn't elevate my dad enough so I climbed onto the rehab table and held him in my arms. I talked to him, prayed with him, and let him go home to heaven. My brother was right... my dad died at the very moment I would have been landing in Seattle if I hadn't changed my plans.
Less than three years later my husband was diagnosed with an extremely rare cancer. We went to various specialists in Miami for five months while each new physician repeated the tests already given by the others. Finally in frustration, we contacted MD Anderson Cancer Center, a part of the University of Texas hospital system, and self-referred. Within two weeks (August) T was accepted as a patient. Within a month (September) he was scheduled for surgery. By the end of the year he lost his right eye, endured six weeks of daily radiation, and began a five year journey of trips to Houston TX for follow-up testing. In 2009 he was set free from the process and told to live his life.
Today is Father's Day 2010. This morning my husband preached in a church whose pastor is on sabbatical. He spoke from John 13, the ministry of the towel - servant leadership. I sat in church and thanked God for walking with us, for giving us opportunities to experience His intimate presence. I thanked Him for giving us the strength to continue in ministries that are very fatiguing yet so important: equipping the next generation to be Christ-like leaders through Christian Education.
Recently, I have been following the blogs of several people who are in the depths of suffering. Nearly all have children who have been afflicted with cancer or a traumatic brain injury. I do not know any of these people personally but I pray for them, for their kids, for their minds to be renewed. I am so grateful to know God intimately. These people will also get to know Him better than they ever imagined possible. I am also grateful for this moment in time, a reflection on what has gone before and a time to give thanks.
It's Father's Day 2010. My father is in heaven. My husband is here with me. My two sons, both fathers, are with their children, loving, caring, providing for them. I am blessed. It's embarrassing how very blessed I am and I am so grateful for the blessing. Thank you God, my Father.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
It's here!
I have been sooooooooooooooooo ready for this school year to finish and it is finally over! What a trying year! I think there are layers of frustration that have rendered this year as one of my least favorite of all time. Things like a homeroom of non-speakers, normally I like a quiet class but this batch took an entire semester to warm up to each other. There was the earthquake in Haiti that possessed my mind for weeks and months, making my teaching less effective because I just wasn't "present" in the way that I needed to be. There were the expulsions in both junior high and the high school; both were LONG overdue and nearly went unnoticed.
But summer vacation is here. I have 80 days beginning today before I walk into a classroom of students again. I am going to do something significant every day. Today I will go to my mother's, work in her garden planting and weeding, then take her out to lunch. I am determined that each day will have significance because I really need it and I know that if I bring purpose into these days, they will seem to last longer! Also on my agenda, a baby quilt for a new grandson who will be born in France next fall. My heart aches that I won't know him early but it is interesting that it was the grandsons who were born at a time when we could not be present. We were there for each of the granddaughters' arrivals. Maybe my little boys are made of tougher stuff... nah... not so much!
Time to move out of my leather recliner and into the sunshine. Thank the Lord for summer vacation!
But summer vacation is here. I have 80 days beginning today before I walk into a classroom of students again. I am going to do something significant every day. Today I will go to my mother's, work in her garden planting and weeding, then take her out to lunch. I am determined that each day will have significance because I really need it and I know that if I bring purpose into these days, they will seem to last longer! Also on my agenda, a baby quilt for a new grandson who will be born in France next fall. My heart aches that I won't know him early but it is interesting that it was the grandsons who were born at a time when we could not be present. We were there for each of the granddaughters' arrivals. Maybe my little boys are made of tougher stuff... nah... not so much!
Time to move out of my leather recliner and into the sunshine. Thank the Lord for summer vacation!
Sunday, June 06, 2010
I hate it when that happens!
I feel soooooo stupid! I left the door to the upright freezer ajar--- all night! So instead of enjoying a leisurely Sunday afternoon, I have been throwing away thawed food, relocating still frozen foods, and defrosting a really icy freezer. Almost done! I guess it needed doing; it's been four years. Four years! I have lived in this house, in this city, in this state for four years! For a person who spent a quarter of a century living in places where people don't normally speak English, this is just weird. But I've always been able to adapt and this has been the easiest adaptation so far. Guess I'd better go finish cleaning the freezer!
The Last Week
I will admit it, I am really looking forward to the last week of school, as in: Friday, 3:15 PM. This has been a very difficult year. Really bright students have had a hard time settling into learning. I've struggled myself, trying to find something that will work so these kids will be as prepared for high school as the two previous classes I sent on from this junior high. I'm not sure I've been successful. I guess I'll know next year. But I do have some thoughts on why this year has been so difficult.
Fear. Anxiety. Stress. I don't remember a time when it has been so evident. I know our country went through a difficult recession in the mid-to-late 70s but the lack of non-stop, multiple-channeled, cable TV and the constant message of fear allowed us to focus on other things. I do think we have been bombarded with the things that sell cable news and most of that has been negative. There is proof positive that our nation is working its way out of the mire we found ourselves in in 2007-2008 but the good news does not sell like bad news does. This fear has become a factor in the lives of our school families. I teach in a private school and most of our families have experienced little change financially but they don't act like it. Their stress levels deeply affect their children, who bring their internal pressures into the classroom. Everything is exaggerated to the point that marriages are crumbling like we haven't seen before this year. Were they cracking before this? Probably. They just needed this last push to break them apart. It absolutely breaks my heart to see students hurting so much. No wonder they are having a hard time with school.
Regardless, we've all worked like slaves, doing our best to give our students a quality education and a ton of support. And I am ready for a break. I am ready for summer sunshine that has not yet appeared for more than a few hours at a time. I am ready to sleep past six in the morning. I am ready for bright flowers, walks near the lake with the love of my life, chats with my mother, hugs from the grands. Five days and this should begin, my summer reality. I am just so ready!
Fear. Anxiety. Stress. I don't remember a time when it has been so evident. I know our country went through a difficult recession in the mid-to-late 70s but the lack of non-stop, multiple-channeled, cable TV and the constant message of fear allowed us to focus on other things. I do think we have been bombarded with the things that sell cable news and most of that has been negative. There is proof positive that our nation is working its way out of the mire we found ourselves in in 2007-2008 but the good news does not sell like bad news does. This fear has become a factor in the lives of our school families. I teach in a private school and most of our families have experienced little change financially but they don't act like it. Their stress levels deeply affect their children, who bring their internal pressures into the classroom. Everything is exaggerated to the point that marriages are crumbling like we haven't seen before this year. Were they cracking before this? Probably. They just needed this last push to break them apart. It absolutely breaks my heart to see students hurting so much. No wonder they are having a hard time with school.
Regardless, we've all worked like slaves, doing our best to give our students a quality education and a ton of support. And I am ready for a break. I am ready for summer sunshine that has not yet appeared for more than a few hours at a time. I am ready to sleep past six in the morning. I am ready for bright flowers, walks near the lake with the love of my life, chats with my mother, hugs from the grands. Five days and this should begin, my summer reality. I am just so ready!
Monday, May 31, 2010
Granddaughter Kayla's Poem - 4th grade
Sunny weather's in the air, and birds are singing too.
Pots of flowers bloom again, purple, pink, and blue.
Rhyming birds from forest layers,
Ice melts in the bright, bright sun.
New sounds come from baby birds.
Great things happen to my world.
Pots of flowers bloom again, purple, pink, and blue.
Rhyming birds from forest layers,
Ice melts in the bright, bright sun.
New sounds come from baby birds.
Great things happen to my world.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
A weekend of many things
Yes, many things have happened during this three-day Memorial weekend but rest... nope, not so we noticed! Our children are out of town, together, for the first time in a very long time, and we are on grand-duty. It's been non-stop activity. Our grandchildren do not sit quietly and read books; they get on their bikes and ride over "jumps" that they've constructed in the driveway. They don't sit among a million pieces of legos and create machines; they build huge forts among the trees with branches, ropes, fern fronds for a roof, and chunks of firewood for seating - all of which last for days. They don't walk sedately through their backyard forest; they climb onto the trampoline and bounce up to the sky with flips and other gyrations. These kids have an energy level that is epic, like their dad's, and uncle's, and if I'm going to be honest, like their grandpa and grandma's.
Yeah, we are to blame. My husband and I are very high energy people. We went through all the psych testing before heading overseas and were told that we were - abnormal - with an energy level that was so high that we would be tempted to think others were lazy. We were counseled to realize that we are not normal and that those who seem to run out of steam while we're still going strong, those people are the normal ones. Maybe that's why at this age (pushing the sixth decade soon) he's just become a high school principal and I continue to teach junior high! We still have quite a bit of energy to burn. When two people like us, come together and create children, well, those kids are really high energy. Our sons make us look like we're standing still. The only salvation for our grandchildren is that our sons married very calm women. Sigh... thank heavens!
So three days with these children make for some incredible memories. Oh how I love my grandchildren. One of the lies I believed earlier in my life was that by serving overseas, I would rarely get to spend time with my family. We never imagined moving back to the states but here we are, only a 15-minute drive from our little ones. I thank God daily for this time. I love investing in these kids, letting them see sheer joy on my face when they bound into a room. Playing and praying with them, solving problems creatively, participating in special celebrations. What a blessing for us, and I would dare say, for them. They know that they are loved with a crazy, passionate, unconditional love. Hopefully our love will help them have a glimpse of God's love for them. At least they will never doubt that they are capable of being loved. And we realize that we are also blessed recipients of the holy, innocent, pure love of a child... of four, soon to be five grandchildren. What glory!
Yeah, we are to blame. My husband and I are very high energy people. We went through all the psych testing before heading overseas and were told that we were - abnormal - with an energy level that was so high that we would be tempted to think others were lazy. We were counseled to realize that we are not normal and that those who seem to run out of steam while we're still going strong, those people are the normal ones. Maybe that's why at this age (pushing the sixth decade soon) he's just become a high school principal and I continue to teach junior high! We still have quite a bit of energy to burn. When two people like us, come together and create children, well, those kids are really high energy. Our sons make us look like we're standing still. The only salvation for our grandchildren is that our sons married very calm women. Sigh... thank heavens!
So three days with these children make for some incredible memories. Oh how I love my grandchildren. One of the lies I believed earlier in my life was that by serving overseas, I would rarely get to spend time with my family. We never imagined moving back to the states but here we are, only a 15-minute drive from our little ones. I thank God daily for this time. I love investing in these kids, letting them see sheer joy on my face when they bound into a room. Playing and praying with them, solving problems creatively, participating in special celebrations. What a blessing for us, and I would dare say, for them. They know that they are loved with a crazy, passionate, unconditional love. Hopefully our love will help them have a glimpse of God's love for them. At least they will never doubt that they are capable of being loved. And we realize that we are also blessed recipients of the holy, innocent, pure love of a child... of four, soon to be five grandchildren. What glory!
Friday, May 28, 2010
Rain, rain... you know the rest
I live in the Evergreen State and it is called this because... it's really green! And it's green because... it rains... and rains... and rains! At least for the past several weeks it has just been all about the rain. Today I was on an all-junior high field trip to a local college for their science carnival. It's a great trip. Last year was so much fun! It was sunny and the kids had such a great time on the campus as well as participating in the workshops. This year the rain changed the entire dynamic of the day. It just wasn't all that much fun. I wore a coat but it wasn't as waterproof as it should have been. I am going to have to invest in a real raincoat! As I stood in the drippy rain, my mind wandered to where I used to live, an island some four thousand plus miles away, where it is now rainy season and people are living in their bed-sheet shelters, in the pouring rain. What misery! One might believe that the tropical weather would make it more bearable. It's a warm rain. No, it really wouldn't help, not at all. It's still wet and when evening comes, it would feel quite cold. Oh God, provide... shelter them under your wings.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Coming to an end!
And not a moment too soon! I don't know about anyone else but this has been a tough year in the classroom! I spoke with the youth pastor of a local church tonight and he said this has been his most difficult year ever in ministry. Society in general has suffered this year. It is a crisis of inflated proportions in some ways. The fear generated by the constant media attention to negative issues continues to undermine people's basic sense of well-being. I know it's been a hard year for many people (totally disregarding Haiti here - that's epic and not even a part of this discussion) but overall most people are doing just fine. However no one feels secure and it's because we are looking in the wrong places for our security. In our rather small school alone, there have been so many divorces this year. Out students are struggling because they don't have a sense of stability. Time to get serious, focus on the essentials, and realize just how blessed we are! That said, there are eleven in-class days left in this school year. I am really on the count-down! Summer!!!! Where are you??? Hurry up!!!!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
True Friends!
I have always believed that true friendship survives any obstacle. My friendship with M. is proof of that statement. We each come from different parts of the states but worked in the same school in the same third world country, are members of different denominations with different theological positions, had children who loved each other - then didn't, moved the same year to different regions of the country and haven't been together for ten years! And then M. came to my state for a quick trip. We literally picked up our relationship as though we had spent the previous week teaching school together. We share similar feelings about teaching and literature and how to make the two come together in the lives of schoolkids. We like the same foods, well almost, she doesn't like olives and I don't like onions. And we sure can talk together! Her husband asked me if my jaws were sore. He said he figured we had talked non-stop for 48 hours. My husband apologized for not joining in our conversations but said that he had exhausted his quota for words long before we were finished! Our time together was refreshing and fun. It helped renew my spirit - I am just so grateful for true friendship.
Sunday, May 09, 2010
Thoroughly Blessed!
I am one of the fortunate few, so very blessed! That became very apparent to me this morning in church. We are visiting the churches where our students worship and this morning were in a Foursquare Church called Living Water. The worship was upbeat and enjoyable; the message was quite good but the blessing part came at the end. The pastor shared words from the Lord for mothers who were experiencing difficult days. He shared particular verses: for the mother who had lost a child, for the one whose child was far from the Lord, for the mother who was estranged from her child, for the mother of a child who was sick with an incurable illness, for the one whose child suffered from one of many acronyms like fasd, rad, adhd, and many others, and even one for the woman who desperately wanted to be a mother but was unable to conceive. As I listened to those verses and prayed silent prayers for those mothers, a deep sense of gratitude filled my heart. I am so blessed for I am the mother of two sons who are whole, healthy, serving the Lord, and love me completely. Today, this mother is thanking God for His abundant blessings!
Monday, May 03, 2010
Never again!
Never again will I take any medical test for granted. Over five years ago, my husband found a small lump on his eyelid. It wouldn't go away so one day I gave him a choice, he could call the ophthalmologist and make an appointment or I would do it for him. It turned out to be a very deadly cancer and while we were fortunate because the tumor grew outward not inward, it meant a terrible surgery that would take his eye and eyelids, nerves, muscle, and tissue - virtually everything in that right orbit. After five years of follow-up, he was released from M.D. Anderson Cancer Center at the University of Texas Medical Center and told to go live his life.
So lately, when he was having some recurring tummy trouble with no apparent origin, I started nagging. He finally gave in and went to the doctor. Now he's rather irritated with it all because he thinks we've wasted money for unnecessary medical care; all his tests were normal. I told him to let it go because it was worth every penny to me just to know he is not hydrating enough!
I suppose we will never face any medical procedure without that nagging concern in our minds. Cancer. Once that road has been walked, nothing is quite the same. I still remember how shocked I was at his prior diagnosis. It never entered my mind that this man, who weighs within ten pounds of what he weighed the day we were married almost 37 years ago, who eats right, exercises, is devoted in daily prayer and meditation... that this man would have cancer! But I have this theory. We are children of God who have been called to go. For 25 years that meant working in mission outside the USA. Toward the end of that 25 years, it meant going to an amazing cancer hospital in Houston TX and living our lives as a positive witness for Christ among people who were dying or caring for the dying. We listened to countless stories, comforted many who were suffering, spoke in self-deprecating ways that allowed others to be comfortable around us. My husband's doctor, an amazingly brilliant Iranian woman, commented about my husband's strong faith in her written case report. A cancer hospital is a mission field like no other. For five years we walked with people who were far more needy than my husband and tried to show them Jesus. God calls us to go and we don't always get to choose where we go. But as we go, we need to allow Christ to live through us.
I will admit, I am thankful that séjour is over. Ministering to teenagers in the Christian School setting is challenging enough. But I will never again take any medical testing for granted; nothing is routine - not anymore.
So lately, when he was having some recurring tummy trouble with no apparent origin, I started nagging. He finally gave in and went to the doctor. Now he's rather irritated with it all because he thinks we've wasted money for unnecessary medical care; all his tests were normal. I told him to let it go because it was worth every penny to me just to know he is not hydrating enough!
I suppose we will never face any medical procedure without that nagging concern in our minds. Cancer. Once that road has been walked, nothing is quite the same. I still remember how shocked I was at his prior diagnosis. It never entered my mind that this man, who weighs within ten pounds of what he weighed the day we were married almost 37 years ago, who eats right, exercises, is devoted in daily prayer and meditation... that this man would have cancer! But I have this theory. We are children of God who have been called to go. For 25 years that meant working in mission outside the USA. Toward the end of that 25 years, it meant going to an amazing cancer hospital in Houston TX and living our lives as a positive witness for Christ among people who were dying or caring for the dying. We listened to countless stories, comforted many who were suffering, spoke in self-deprecating ways that allowed others to be comfortable around us. My husband's doctor, an amazingly brilliant Iranian woman, commented about my husband's strong faith in her written case report. A cancer hospital is a mission field like no other. For five years we walked with people who were far more needy than my husband and tried to show them Jesus. God calls us to go and we don't always get to choose where we go. But as we go, we need to allow Christ to live through us.
I will admit, I am thankful that séjour is over. Ministering to teenagers in the Christian School setting is challenging enough. But I will never again take any medical testing for granted; nothing is routine - not anymore.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Not Exempt
Missionaries are not exempt from suffering. I still remember the young woman who heard that my husband had cancer and was going through surgery and radiation. She was shocked, stating that she thought missionaries would be exempt from cancer. After all, we had left our families and homeland and were serving God in a foreign country. All I could think at that time was, "Wow! What a ridiculous statement." But I've had some time to think about it, a bit over five years. I really didn't know that person; maybe she was a new believer who hadn't read Hebrews yet. Maybe she was simply a church-goer, not a believer. I don't know and I'm rather sorry to say that I never got her contact info or even considered keeping in touch with her. As my students say, "My bad!"
Recently I read a blog written by a couple serving in Haiti. I don't know them but since my husband and I served in Haiti for eighteen years, I tend to read anything I come across that is written by those who are there. This young couple is suffering. Their suffering far exceeds what my husband and I experienced with this adenocarcinoma of the lacrimal gland. Their youngest child, Susana, has neuroblastoma, a deadly form of cancer that seems to uniquely attack children. I have now bookmarked this family's blog so I can follow and pray for them. My heart is extremely heavy for this family. I know the financial package most missionaries live with (read poverty level) and the insurance programs they are a part of (self-insured). It is really tough to experience this kind of personal trauma, especially when it deals with a child.
The truth is that God knows all about this. He knew it was coming, even their level of suffering. I have a very unpopular view of this kind of thing. I don't think Job was a unique character. I believe that all of us are fair game for Satan to attack at any time with hardship, illness, any number of difficulties. The only sense I could make of my husband's experience was that God had called us into that hospital, into that community of suffering people. And now God has called Susana's family. We need to pray for them. This is beyond traumatic! These people lived through one of the worst earthquake's in history, have been ministering to suffering people... probably around the clock. They are exhausted, traumatized themselves, and now they are suffering horribly. We are not exempt. We are called... called to go, to be, to suffer as Christ did.
This is what praying without ceasing is all about - every moment, all day, always.
Recently I read a blog written by a couple serving in Haiti. I don't know them but since my husband and I served in Haiti for eighteen years, I tend to read anything I come across that is written by those who are there. This young couple is suffering. Their suffering far exceeds what my husband and I experienced with this adenocarcinoma of the lacrimal gland. Their youngest child, Susana, has neuroblastoma, a deadly form of cancer that seems to uniquely attack children. I have now bookmarked this family's blog so I can follow and pray for them. My heart is extremely heavy for this family. I know the financial package most missionaries live with (read poverty level) and the insurance programs they are a part of (self-insured). It is really tough to experience this kind of personal trauma, especially when it deals with a child.
The truth is that God knows all about this. He knew it was coming, even their level of suffering. I have a very unpopular view of this kind of thing. I don't think Job was a unique character. I believe that all of us are fair game for Satan to attack at any time with hardship, illness, any number of difficulties. The only sense I could make of my husband's experience was that God had called us into that hospital, into that community of suffering people. And now God has called Susana's family. We need to pray for them. This is beyond traumatic! These people lived through one of the worst earthquake's in history, have been ministering to suffering people... probably around the clock. They are exhausted, traumatized themselves, and now they are suffering horribly. We are not exempt. We are called... called to go, to be, to suffer as Christ did.
This is what praying without ceasing is all about - every moment, all day, always.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Color-blind
I was just reading a link within a blog of someone I don't know, but she's a friend of someone I do know and trust so she's probably a really good person. I totally misunderstood a line in her blog, this one:
"Have I mentioned that I think the whole "colorblind to race" theory may not serve us well? Brendesha Tynes has some new research that suggests people who identify as colorblind are less sensitive to racism."
I was shocked! Fortunately I followed up my emotional reaction by reading the link and discovered that we don't mean the same thing when we use the word colorblind. I know the author of the blog is not racist; she is the mother of multi-racial children. And the author of the linked research is African-American so that's a non-starter too. But I believe there is a really good side to being colorblind... it's really, really being colorblind! Let me explain.
My family and I lived in the Caribbean for 25 years. The initial six of those years were in Martinique, a lovely French Caribbean island. Our boys were young when we lived there, four and eight when we arrived. They attended local schools, enjoyed camping, birthday parties, trips to the beach with friends; in general they lived a very normal life in another country. They were seven and eleven when we left for a year back 'home' in the states. We spent much of that year stateside visiting family and friends who supported our ministry in one way or another. I clearly remember a particular question and answer evening. All four of us were on the platform and one dear soul asked our children if they had any white friends or were all their friends black. I will never forget our youngest son's reaction. I wanted to cry! He was so confused. He looked at me and whispered, "Mommy, what does she mean? None of my friends are black." I tried to explain to him that some of his friends had a darker skin color than he did, that they were really, really tan! He was so upset and confused and argued the point, informing me that his friends were just like him! Sigh... he was/is a very light-skinned redhead! We let it go that evening but knew he would be asking questions. At seven, almost eight years old, our son truly did not see anything different about his friends. He was completely colorblind. The best kind of colorblind. When we revisited that conversation later, he was devastated to learn that there were differences that some people thought were a big deal. He specifically said, "I thought all my friends were just like me, that I was just like them." I tried to tell him that he was right and others were wrong. We talked about getting a cut and the blood being just the same. We talked about "white" people who were all different shades of skin color, hair color, eye color. It didn't matter; the lesson had been learned. We were different. It was a sad day, the loss of innocence.
I hate that. I detest bigotry and anything that makes people think that they have the right to act all smug and superior to others based on external anything! I have been appalled at the nasty, ethnic comments made about the president and others like him who are also civil servants. I cringe when I hear people use colloquial terminology denoting people of another race. Where in the world do we get these ideas? Who do we think we are? Why are people who spew this kind of nasty speech condoned even for a moment?
Recently Arizona passed a law giving police officers the right to demand proof of citizenship from anyone that they think might be an illegal alien. Even that word... alien... I think of creatures from Mars not people from Cancun or Acapulco! This new law is going to lead to some serious trouble. I can appreciate the critical financial difficulties that Arizona faces as they deal with so many illegal residents but there has to be a better way! I wish I knew what it was. Maybe we all just need to be a bit more colorblind.
"Have I mentioned that I think the whole "colorblind to race" theory may not serve us well? Brendesha Tynes has some new research that suggests people who identify as colorblind are less sensitive to racism."
I was shocked! Fortunately I followed up my emotional reaction by reading the link and discovered that we don't mean the same thing when we use the word colorblind. I know the author of the blog is not racist; she is the mother of multi-racial children. And the author of the linked research is African-American so that's a non-starter too. But I believe there is a really good side to being colorblind... it's really, really being colorblind! Let me explain.
My family and I lived in the Caribbean for 25 years. The initial six of those years were in Martinique, a lovely French Caribbean island. Our boys were young when we lived there, four and eight when we arrived. They attended local schools, enjoyed camping, birthday parties, trips to the beach with friends; in general they lived a very normal life in another country. They were seven and eleven when we left for a year back 'home' in the states. We spent much of that year stateside visiting family and friends who supported our ministry in one way or another. I clearly remember a particular question and answer evening. All four of us were on the platform and one dear soul asked our children if they had any white friends or were all their friends black. I will never forget our youngest son's reaction. I wanted to cry! He was so confused. He looked at me and whispered, "Mommy, what does she mean? None of my friends are black." I tried to explain to him that some of his friends had a darker skin color than he did, that they were really, really tan! He was so upset and confused and argued the point, informing me that his friends were just like him! Sigh... he was/is a very light-skinned redhead! We let it go that evening but knew he would be asking questions. At seven, almost eight years old, our son truly did not see anything different about his friends. He was completely colorblind. The best kind of colorblind. When we revisited that conversation later, he was devastated to learn that there were differences that some people thought were a big deal. He specifically said, "I thought all my friends were just like me, that I was just like them." I tried to tell him that he was right and others were wrong. We talked about getting a cut and the blood being just the same. We talked about "white" people who were all different shades of skin color, hair color, eye color. It didn't matter; the lesson had been learned. We were different. It was a sad day, the loss of innocence.
I hate that. I detest bigotry and anything that makes people think that they have the right to act all smug and superior to others based on external anything! I have been appalled at the nasty, ethnic comments made about the president and others like him who are also civil servants. I cringe when I hear people use colloquial terminology denoting people of another race. Where in the world do we get these ideas? Who do we think we are? Why are people who spew this kind of nasty speech condoned even for a moment?
Recently Arizona passed a law giving police officers the right to demand proof of citizenship from anyone that they think might be an illegal alien. Even that word... alien... I think of creatures from Mars not people from Cancun or Acapulco! This new law is going to lead to some serious trouble. I can appreciate the critical financial difficulties that Arizona faces as they deal with so many illegal residents but there has to be a better way! I wish I knew what it was. Maybe we all just need to be a bit more colorblind.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Leftovers
Those of us who lived in Haiti for an extended period of time must deal with certain issues for years and years. We are marked by our experience. Some things that hit us are extremely positive such as the generosity and hospitality of the Haitian people but others nag at our spirit and sometimes make us weep. The one that got to me tonight was the leftovers.
I scraped the food from our dinner plates and serving bowls into the compost bucket. And I swear, the first thought that came into my head was, "I wouldn't be doing this if I still lived in Haiti." We never tossed food. Even moldy bread became chicken food. If there was as much as a tablespoon of mashed potatoes, it went into the fridge. We had people who worked for us who really wanted those leftovers and we gave them willingly. Actually, I never gave them directly to my workers. I would say something like, "Marie, I have this leftover food. I am sure you know someone who might want it. Would you take it for him/her?" And Marie did know someone - her daughter or her two sons for starters! But going through this "back-door" allowed Marie to hold onto a bit of human dignity. Sometimes, when you are quite poor, dignity is your only possession.
Last week was my stress-filled Spring Break and one of my mini-projects was to clean out the fridge. I tossed so many containers with little dabs of food, it wasn't funny. Most spoiled before we could eat them or we never wanted to eat them (again) anyway. So I promised myself that I wouldn't save the dabs anymore. But it is tough! My dad always got after me for not finishing my dinner. He would tell me about the starving children in China... and yes, just like you, I wanted to tell him to send it to them. So rude... But the truth is that once you've lived among starving people, you are changed. I still remember my older son's reaction to his first university food-fight. He absolutely raged at his friends and classmates after that experience. He was horrified that most people just didn't seem to care. We care, my husband, my sons, we care about those who are hungry. We do all we can to make a difference in their lives. And although saving the little dabs after dinner isn't going to help them, it certainly does hurt to throw it away.
I scraped the food from our dinner plates and serving bowls into the compost bucket. And I swear, the first thought that came into my head was, "I wouldn't be doing this if I still lived in Haiti." We never tossed food. Even moldy bread became chicken food. If there was as much as a tablespoon of mashed potatoes, it went into the fridge. We had people who worked for us who really wanted those leftovers and we gave them willingly. Actually, I never gave them directly to my workers. I would say something like, "Marie, I have this leftover food. I am sure you know someone who might want it. Would you take it for him/her?" And Marie did know someone - her daughter or her two sons for starters! But going through this "back-door" allowed Marie to hold onto a bit of human dignity. Sometimes, when you are quite poor, dignity is your only possession.
Last week was my stress-filled Spring Break and one of my mini-projects was to clean out the fridge. I tossed so many containers with little dabs of food, it wasn't funny. Most spoiled before we could eat them or we never wanted to eat them (again) anyway. So I promised myself that I wouldn't save the dabs anymore. But it is tough! My dad always got after me for not finishing my dinner. He would tell me about the starving children in China... and yes, just like you, I wanted to tell him to send it to them. So rude... But the truth is that once you've lived among starving people, you are changed. I still remember my older son's reaction to his first university food-fight. He absolutely raged at his friends and classmates after that experience. He was horrified that most people just didn't seem to care. We care, my husband, my sons, we care about those who are hungry. We do all we can to make a difference in their lives. And although saving the little dabs after dinner isn't going to help them, it certainly does hurt to throw it away.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Nope, I just couldn't do it!
I confess; I went to my classroom late this afternoon and worked for three hours. Today is the last day of Spring Break and I have stayed away more this year than any before. Ostensibly I went to set up the CD player we used to have in our house. Before he moved to France, our younger son gave us his flat screen tv and stereo/dvd/cd/surround sound media thingy that has everything in one unit. They use a totally different system over there. In order to properly "house" our old aiwa stereo, I needed to clear a place. In the process, I not only cleaned off a table that has needed some serious TLC since before Christmas, but also went through two big boxes of junk hidden under the table. I dumped a lot of paper stuff there just to get it out of my way. I sorted, filed, threw away a bunch of stuff, put other stuff into notebooks, and used my clorox wipes on every surface around my desk. I have the wipes sitting out so we can tackle the student desks first thing in the morning.
My white boards were ready to go before Spring Break, all charts were already up to date, my plans and copies were done ahead, so I'm ready. School starts tomorrow - the final countdown. I have nine weeks... 43 actual school days (I never count weekends or holidays). When I look at all I would like to do, I absolutely know I don't have enough time. This particular group of 8th graders never mastered basic grammar. I think it was neglected in earlier years and no matter how hard I have worked with them, they just can't seem to get it. So tomorrow, I'm going to start a project that I used with my very first class... of third graders! We're going to 'make' grammar books. They'll define the part of speech, write three example sentences, and illustrate or cut and paste pictures that represent that particular part of speech. My 7th graders are so far ahead of my 8th graders it's not funny but I bet they'll want to do this too once they hear about it. I may make it a tradition. I'm only spending this week on it. I've devoted more direct time to the parts of speech than I ever have before and I'm not going to do more than this.
I have a stack of WWII novels I want kids reading plus there is a novel based in 12th century Korea, A Single Shard, that we must do! As a private school, we receive several international students for a year or more of study. Most of our guest students come from Korea. I hunted for quite some time to find a book that I felt would not only highlight the antiquity of their country and culture but would teach our American students about the country in a way that would honor our Korean students. I love this book! The main characters are dirt poor and yet extremely ethical in all aspects of their lives. They are a complete contrast to the situational ethics that many countries, including our own, seem to accept. So a week from tomorrow, one 8th grade class will start this novel while the other begins literature circles with WWII novels. I'd prefer to do both at the same time but I'm short a few books. I may beg for more copies; it would make my life so much easier to only have one prep rather than two. And when the year comes to this point, I do want to make my life easier! There's so much 'stuff' that has to be done. We've already received the curriculum order sheets for next year. If we get our orders in early, we save $$$. I really do understand that, especially these days. Any---way--- here we go! The countdown is ON!
My white boards were ready to go before Spring Break, all charts were already up to date, my plans and copies were done ahead, so I'm ready. School starts tomorrow - the final countdown. I have nine weeks... 43 actual school days (I never count weekends or holidays). When I look at all I would like to do, I absolutely know I don't have enough time. This particular group of 8th graders never mastered basic grammar. I think it was neglected in earlier years and no matter how hard I have worked with them, they just can't seem to get it. So tomorrow, I'm going to start a project that I used with my very first class... of third graders! We're going to 'make' grammar books. They'll define the part of speech, write three example sentences, and illustrate or cut and paste pictures that represent that particular part of speech. My 7th graders are so far ahead of my 8th graders it's not funny but I bet they'll want to do this too once they hear about it. I may make it a tradition. I'm only spending this week on it. I've devoted more direct time to the parts of speech than I ever have before and I'm not going to do more than this.
I have a stack of WWII novels I want kids reading plus there is a novel based in 12th century Korea, A Single Shard, that we must do! As a private school, we receive several international students for a year or more of study. Most of our guest students come from Korea. I hunted for quite some time to find a book that I felt would not only highlight the antiquity of their country and culture but would teach our American students about the country in a way that would honor our Korean students. I love this book! The main characters are dirt poor and yet extremely ethical in all aspects of their lives. They are a complete contrast to the situational ethics that many countries, including our own, seem to accept. So a week from tomorrow, one 8th grade class will start this novel while the other begins literature circles with WWII novels. I'd prefer to do both at the same time but I'm short a few books. I may beg for more copies; it would make my life so much easier to only have one prep rather than two. And when the year comes to this point, I do want to make my life easier! There's so much 'stuff' that has to be done. We've already received the curriculum order sheets for next year. If we get our orders in early, we save $$$. I really do understand that, especially these days. Any---way--- here we go! The countdown is ON!
Thursday, April 08, 2010
Almost Insanity
What a crazy week! This has to be the weirdest Spring Break I've ever had. I've already mentioned my two days with the dentist. That certainly foreshadowed the rest of the week. Wednesday I went to a family lunch with my mother and then to our church's District Assembly. This annual meeting brings delegates and pastors from our denomination in Western Washington together for the purpose of making administrative choices and setting goals and such. This year was a big one. The man who has directed the district for the past 25 years has retired. There has been a ton of speculation as to who would take this job. My husband was his assistant for three years and many thought he was brought in so he would be ready to assume this responsibility. Many thought that but my man and I were not among the many.
With the economic down-turn of the past couple years, it was necessary for my husband to leave his assistant job and find another, which he did. He stayed out of the district business completely. He didn't attend meetings, visit churches, or do anything that might give a whiff that he was still involved in any way. He plunged himself into his new responsibility as high school principal and has done a remarkable job. It is much different from his university work prior to this but it has been a good challenge among wonderful students, as well as a few crazies.
Last night was the farewell service for the former district leader, former boss, and we went. We saw a lot of old friends and visited with many. The meeting that would elect the new leader was held today. All day. We decided it was a good time to stay away and chose to spend the day with our grandchildren instead. We went to the park, out to eat, to a huge amusement hall, and finally back to our house for popcorn and a movie. Sometime during lunch the first phone call came in. Ballots were coming in; the pack was pretty tight but guess who was in the lead? Yeah, my man. We weren't worried. It was just a first ballot; things needed to sort out. About three ballots later we began to sweat. He still had a substantial, now-growing lead. After the next ballot, pastors began to call. Although happy about the way things were going, a few knew this was not necessarily something my man wanted to do. By the time movie and popcorn were happening, we were in trouble. It looked pretty obvious that if my man didn't do something to stop this forward momentum, he was going to have a new job. Could he do the job? Absolutely! In fact, there is no question that he is far better "trained" for that job than the one he is so focused on at this time. But no matter how we looked at it, discussed it, or prayed over it, there was no peace. None, zero, nada, rien! Finally we knew that he either had to make a phone call and stop this or he had to be prepared to take the job. We both agreed that it would not be fair to let it go to the end of the process and then say no. As it was, these people had been voting all day. We really felt horrible. What do we do? What does God want from us? We serve at His pleasure but was this what He wanted? Maybe... but I think there were a few, not many, certainly not most, who didn't want this. Do we force ourselves on the current organizational leadership of the church, even if we're pretty sure it isn't what they want? nah... There was no peace and we have always said, without peace we don't stop what we're doing to go somewhere else. The grass is never greener... So he made that call... and there were some pretty unhappy people. And we didn't go to church again tonight. And yes, they did elect someone, the next guy in the running, but we don't know if he's going to do it or not and I guess that doesn't matter. We've certainly sealed our fate with the church. And that's okay. We are not political animals like some. We don't like that stuff one bit, at least not in the church. And I don't know that there is a job that is more related to the politcal machinations of our church than this one.... except a few in KC.
We took our grandchildren back home then headed to the lake for a walk. Of course it started to rain! So we bopped into a favorite restaurant for an early dinner. As our salads arrived, a leader in our current assignment called and a bunch of dumb stuff was dropped on my man. I sat there, amazed at the timing of the ridiculous. Yet my guy chose to ignore the nonsense and rest in the fact that he had made the right decision. He spoke his mind forcefully but then shook it off. We enjoyed dinner, got in a short walk, and headed home.
And tomorrow's Friday! Nuts! Spring Break is almost over and it's been one crazy day after another. I had much higher expectations for this week than what I got! Such stress! Well, the countdown starts next week and I'm certainly hoping my summer is much calmer or a lot more fun than this Spring Break!
With the economic down-turn of the past couple years, it was necessary for my husband to leave his assistant job and find another, which he did. He stayed out of the district business completely. He didn't attend meetings, visit churches, or do anything that might give a whiff that he was still involved in any way. He plunged himself into his new responsibility as high school principal and has done a remarkable job. It is much different from his university work prior to this but it has been a good challenge among wonderful students, as well as a few crazies.
Last night was the farewell service for the former district leader, former boss, and we went. We saw a lot of old friends and visited with many. The meeting that would elect the new leader was held today. All day. We decided it was a good time to stay away and chose to spend the day with our grandchildren instead. We went to the park, out to eat, to a huge amusement hall, and finally back to our house for popcorn and a movie. Sometime during lunch the first phone call came in. Ballots were coming in; the pack was pretty tight but guess who was in the lead? Yeah, my man. We weren't worried. It was just a first ballot; things needed to sort out. About three ballots later we began to sweat. He still had a substantial, now-growing lead. After the next ballot, pastors began to call. Although happy about the way things were going, a few knew this was not necessarily something my man wanted to do. By the time movie and popcorn were happening, we were in trouble. It looked pretty obvious that if my man didn't do something to stop this forward momentum, he was going to have a new job. Could he do the job? Absolutely! In fact, there is no question that he is far better "trained" for that job than the one he is so focused on at this time. But no matter how we looked at it, discussed it, or prayed over it, there was no peace. None, zero, nada, rien! Finally we knew that he either had to make a phone call and stop this or he had to be prepared to take the job. We both agreed that it would not be fair to let it go to the end of the process and then say no. As it was, these people had been voting all day. We really felt horrible. What do we do? What does God want from us? We serve at His pleasure but was this what He wanted? Maybe... but I think there were a few, not many, certainly not most, who didn't want this. Do we force ourselves on the current organizational leadership of the church, even if we're pretty sure it isn't what they want? nah... There was no peace and we have always said, without peace we don't stop what we're doing to go somewhere else. The grass is never greener... So he made that call... and there were some pretty unhappy people. And we didn't go to church again tonight. And yes, they did elect someone, the next guy in the running, but we don't know if he's going to do it or not and I guess that doesn't matter. We've certainly sealed our fate with the church. And that's okay. We are not political animals like some. We don't like that stuff one bit, at least not in the church. And I don't know that there is a job that is more related to the politcal machinations of our church than this one.... except a few in KC.
We took our grandchildren back home then headed to the lake for a walk. Of course it started to rain! So we bopped into a favorite restaurant for an early dinner. As our salads arrived, a leader in our current assignment called and a bunch of dumb stuff was dropped on my man. I sat there, amazed at the timing of the ridiculous. Yet my guy chose to ignore the nonsense and rest in the fact that he had made the right decision. He spoke his mind forcefully but then shook it off. We enjoyed dinner, got in a short walk, and headed home.
And tomorrow's Friday! Nuts! Spring Break is almost over and it's been one crazy day after another. I had much higher expectations for this week than what I got! Such stress! Well, the countdown starts next week and I'm certainly hoping my summer is much calmer or a lot more fun than this Spring Break!
Monday, April 05, 2010
Spring Break!
I am a teacher and I love Spring Break! I love that it always comes after the third quarter and after report card information is turned in. It's so nice knowing that it's done and doesn't have to be revisited after Break. As much as I try to avoid it, I am always ready to start the countdown after Spring Break. Every year I tell myself that it isn't going to happen this year... and every year, I count the days.
This Spring Break is not starting out well. I scheduled my dental cleaning for today, Monday morning of Spring Break. I happened to break a filling in a front tooth so I made a two-hour appointment, clean and repair tooth. No biggie... except I didn't know I had other cavities. I hate that! Now I have to spend Tuesday morning at the dentist as well! Augh!!! Those cavities (2 little ones that will require my morning to be invaded!) were hiding behind two old fillings, located side-by-side in two different teeth.
Hmmm... are our lives like that? Hiding behind old wounds are older wounds? Does dealing with the sin that I see sometimes lead to another that has been hidden in the depths of my heart for far too long? Does a problem ignored become a life issue that requires serious intervention? I do know this, if I don't sacrifice my Tuesday morning and get those cavities fixed, they'll just grow and spread until they cause me pain. Right now they are small and insignificant. I need to treat my sins, my hurts, my problems in the same way... deal with them while they are small and manageable! I wish it was as easy as sitting an hour in the dentist chair while he works. It certainly takes much longer but I do need to sit, quietly, to rest at the feet of the One who is more than capable of doing the necessary repairs on my life. And quite often, the quiet time together results in a prescription received, something I have to do, change, maybe avoid. I need to just do it. I trust the dentist to fix my teeth; I need to truly trust the Lord to repair and manage my life.
This Spring Break is not starting out well. I scheduled my dental cleaning for today, Monday morning of Spring Break. I happened to break a filling in a front tooth so I made a two-hour appointment, clean and repair tooth. No biggie... except I didn't know I had other cavities. I hate that! Now I have to spend Tuesday morning at the dentist as well! Augh!!! Those cavities (2 little ones that will require my morning to be invaded!) were hiding behind two old fillings, located side-by-side in two different teeth.
Hmmm... are our lives like that? Hiding behind old wounds are older wounds? Does dealing with the sin that I see sometimes lead to another that has been hidden in the depths of my heart for far too long? Does a problem ignored become a life issue that requires serious intervention? I do know this, if I don't sacrifice my Tuesday morning and get those cavities fixed, they'll just grow and spread until they cause me pain. Right now they are small and insignificant. I need to treat my sins, my hurts, my problems in the same way... deal with them while they are small and manageable! I wish it was as easy as sitting an hour in the dentist chair while he works. It certainly takes much longer but I do need to sit, quietly, to rest at the feet of the One who is more than capable of doing the necessary repairs on my life. And quite often, the quiet time together results in a prescription received, something I have to do, change, maybe avoid. I need to just do it. I trust the dentist to fix my teeth; I need to truly trust the Lord to repair and manage my life.
Friday, April 02, 2010
Good Friday
Our church had a Good Friday service tonight. It was amazing... for me. I was so aware of Christ's sacrifice, more so than any other year I can remember. There are probably a few reasons for this but I'm still processing. Here's my new favorite cross song (you'll probably have to copy and paste for the recording). I know it's been around a while but it became my new favorite this week:
http://www.ilike.com/artist/Hillsong/track/Worthy+Is+The+Lamb?src=onebox
Worthy is the Lamb (Hillsong)
Thank you for the cross, Lord
Thank you for the price You paid
Bearing all my sin and shame
In love You came
And gave amazing grace
Thank you for this love, Lord
Thank you for the nail pierced hands
Washed me in Your cleansing flow
Now all I know
Your forgiveness and embrace
Worthy is the Lamb
Seated on the throne
Crown You now with many crowns
You reign victorious
High and lifted up
Jesus Son of God
The Darling of Heaven crucified
Worthy is the Lamb
Worthy is the Lamb
http://www.ilike.com/artist/Hillsong/track/Worthy+Is+The+Lamb?src=onebox
Worthy is the Lamb (Hillsong)
Thank you for the cross, Lord
Thank you for the price You paid
Bearing all my sin and shame
In love You came
And gave amazing grace
Thank you for this love, Lord
Thank you for the nail pierced hands
Washed me in Your cleansing flow
Now all I know
Your forgiveness and embrace
Worthy is the Lamb
Seated on the throne
Crown You now with many crowns
You reign victorious
High and lifted up
Jesus Son of God
The Darling of Heaven crucified
Worthy is the Lamb
Worthy is the Lamb
Monday, March 29, 2010
Wal-Mart
So just let me apologize up front for offending all the WalMart shoppers of the world. Sunday afternoon I went to WalMart. The last time I was there was Christmas, when we couldn't find the right lego kit for our grandson. We didn't find it at WalMart either.
Anyway, this is standardized testing week and I always bring a lot of candy (hence the trip to the cheaper store). Today I started with the tootsie roll pops, talking to the kids about stress and that I had invested in stress relievers for them and brought these out. They laughed like crazy - stress gone! Always works. Most of the kids don't even eat the candy until much later in the day but it always makes them laugh and that helps them with the whole test thing. Wait until tomorrow... math and bubblegum! Opens the nerves to the brain and helps them do computations, well, that's what I tell them. Yeah, they'll laugh again but they will chew the gum too! Math is scary!
Anyway, I rarely shop at WalMart. They do have a ton of stuff; it is cheaper, but I don't like the place! Every time I go to that store, I run into at least one couple where he is yelling at her and she's cringing and trying to defend herself while the kids stand by, silent, waiting to see how it ends. It's so obvious that this type of interaction goes on regularly at their home. I always see people who speak like they have never been to school. And they delight in it! The nasty talk, the rudeness to the checkers, it's just not my kind of place. I must be a snob or something because I really don't like it.
I suppose Jesus would be hip deep in this store, talking to people, encouraging the little kids. The best I could do was say 'excuse me' to the man being mean to his wife and reach between them for a can of whatever it was... I don't remember, didn't even buy it, left it on another shelf somewhere. But he stopped, for the moment. And the kids could breathe again.
How do we have a salt and light effect on people who act like that, in public, not caring who sees them? I kind of wanted to hit that mean man with the can of whatever I took from the shelf... bring some light into his thick skull! Yeah, I know, not a very loving attitude. I need to think on this for a while, imagine what I could have said or done. I guess it's too easy to become comfortable at 'my' Trader Joe's. There's a lot more people in WalMart.
Anyway, this is standardized testing week and I always bring a lot of candy (hence the trip to the cheaper store). Today I started with the tootsie roll pops, talking to the kids about stress and that I had invested in stress relievers for them and brought these out. They laughed like crazy - stress gone! Always works. Most of the kids don't even eat the candy until much later in the day but it always makes them laugh and that helps them with the whole test thing. Wait until tomorrow... math and bubblegum! Opens the nerves to the brain and helps them do computations, well, that's what I tell them. Yeah, they'll laugh again but they will chew the gum too! Math is scary!
Anyway, I rarely shop at WalMart. They do have a ton of stuff; it is cheaper, but I don't like the place! Every time I go to that store, I run into at least one couple where he is yelling at her and she's cringing and trying to defend herself while the kids stand by, silent, waiting to see how it ends. It's so obvious that this type of interaction goes on regularly at their home. I always see people who speak like they have never been to school. And they delight in it! The nasty talk, the rudeness to the checkers, it's just not my kind of place. I must be a snob or something because I really don't like it.
I suppose Jesus would be hip deep in this store, talking to people, encouraging the little kids. The best I could do was say 'excuse me' to the man being mean to his wife and reach between them for a can of whatever it was... I don't remember, didn't even buy it, left it on another shelf somewhere. But he stopped, for the moment. And the kids could breathe again.
How do we have a salt and light effect on people who act like that, in public, not caring who sees them? I kind of wanted to hit that mean man with the can of whatever I took from the shelf... bring some light into his thick skull! Yeah, I know, not a very loving attitude. I need to think on this for a while, imagine what I could have said or done. I guess it's too easy to become comfortable at 'my' Trader Joe's. There's a lot more people in WalMart.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Literary Witness
I am not a follower of Chuck Colson but my principal is. Rick came to school last week, excited to tell me about Colson's latest discussion on his radio program. He told me to look it up because he knows I am such a fan of teaching language arts through literature. So I did. And I was pleasantly surprised that Colson seems to understand that the big pictures of life can be taught through the classics. Here's the commentary that refers to the general subject; you'll have to copy and paste because it won't let me install a live link. It appears that Colson is going to keep going on this subject. I'm may have to check in once in a while. It will give me ammo for my discussions with some of the more fundamentalist folks I confront occasionally.
http://thepoint.breakpoint.org/commentaries/14792-literary-witness
http://thepoint.breakpoint.org/commentaries/14792-literary-witness
Saturday, March 27, 2010
There is no one like my mother!
I have the most amazing mother! She is nearly 82 years old and still takes care of her yard. She mows the lawn, weeds her garden -- with a shovel, moves furniture in her house so often that I never know where anything is located! She's a wonder! But just in the last week or two, she has had to slow down. She hurt her back (is it a surprise to anyone?) or her leg and now she's in pain. She walks holding onto my arm. That is so strange. She is the most independent person I've ever known but she now needs to hold my arm, especially when stepping off a curb. It makes me so sad; she hates, hates, hates having other people do things for her. Today I pruned all her hydrangeas. She has seven of them, or eight... not sure. I'm sure I saw her holding her breath, and her tongue, while I whacked away at her shrubbery. My brother happened to come over at just the right moment and I roped him into digging up things she wanted out. She is going to put more of her garden into lawn. She just can't handle all the weeding, bending, and hauling anymore. She promised her doctor (seven years ago) that she would stay off the ladders. I'm not sure she does but since I pruned the taller shrubs as well, she won't have to get on a ladder for that! It makes me feel good to help her but there is a deep sadness as I face the reality of her age and future lifespan. I keep telling her she has to live to 100 and she keeps saying she doesn't want to; I hope I win. Losing my dad eight years ago was really hard. I held him in my arms for 25 minutes as he died from a heart attack. Losing my mother? Unthinkable! I am counting on at least 18 more years!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
It makes sense in Washington!
Okay, this one's light-hearted.
I've been saying it and saying it and saying it! Every year we build DAYS into our school calendar to accommodate the possibility of snow and ice. Every year we have used at least two of those snow days. This year - not even one! So, I began throwing out the idea of a SUN day. It makes sense, right? We live in Washington, the state, not the one on the East coast. We can go for days, weeks, sometimes months with gray, drippy skies. Why not have a sun day, at least one, to enjoy one of the EXTRA days we are working and kids are in school. Well, someone has done it! I find that to be amazing and wonderful and... well... just the "brightest" idea! Here it is:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36021301/ns/
I just wish it was my school!
I've been saying it and saying it and saying it! Every year we build DAYS into our school calendar to accommodate the possibility of snow and ice. Every year we have used at least two of those snow days. This year - not even one! So, I began throwing out the idea of a SUN day. It makes sense, right? We live in Washington, the state, not the one on the East coast. We can go for days, weeks, sometimes months with gray, drippy skies. Why not have a sun day, at least one, to enjoy one of the EXTRA days we are working and kids are in school. Well, someone has done it! I find that to be amazing and wonderful and... well... just the "brightest" idea! Here it is:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36021301/ns/us_news-education/
I just wish it was my school!
Monday, March 22, 2010
Ugliness!
President Obama's health care plan passed congress last night. I am perfectly willing to give it a try, see what happens. I know only too well how the insurance companies can abuse paying customers who get sick. I've seen how it works: people pay every month, faithfully, for insurance, but if someone has the audacity to get sick- well... drop him right now! Get rid of that person who demands the money that we the insurance companies are entitled to consume for our personal profit! But that's not what's really troubling me right now. It's the Christians. The Jesus followers. People who share my faith and find no problem calling the president a Nazi or Hitler or some other ridiculous epithet. It's the frenzied frothing at the mouth at the very idea that this bill might cost something. One dear believer lividly shouted that he had no responsibility for the health care of others! It really makes me ill. I do know this, Jesus would want people to have health care. I do too. There is nothing worse than a sick child whose parents cannot pay to have healed... Unless it's someone who claims to live a life of love while screaming abuses at those who disagree with him. I don't care if others have done this; if we say we love the Lord, we should act like it. Anything else is simply self-righteousness. The behavior we witness on television, the things we have heard nearly all day long are just silly, unbecoming, embarrassing, and even pretty disgusting. Matthew 25 my friends, Matthew 25.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Reality Check
An evening with grandchildren changes my life. I am less angry about all the things that generally make me furious. I am more aware of how fast the days are flying by as I look at my little ones grow. My jaws hurt from smiling so much and I find muscles that haven't been used since the last time I saw them. Tonight we scrambled farm-fresh eggs, fried a pound and a half of bacon, and had such a good time together. We talked about school and the multiplication tables with Kayla. We talked about the letters and sounds Colton knows and which ones he will learn soon. (So silly since he knows them all!) We saw Sierra's big girl bed in what once was Kayla's room. The girls are now sharing a bedroom and Sierra's bedroom has become a playroom. They are growing so fast, something Terry felt up close and personal as he wrestled with the two older ones and they did their best to take him down! He can still overpower them; I wonder how much longer that will last! I feel better about the world in general even though it is just as ridiculous as ever. I'm just so grateful for my little ones. They make my life so rich, so full, so much more enjoyable.
Monday, March 15, 2010
I'm so sad, I'm furious!
I am so sick and tired of the good leaders in Haiti disappearing from society due to stupid, random violence! Friday night, the Rev. Dr. Doris Jean Louis, leader of the Lutheran Church in Haiti, was killed. Some young men, teenagers probably, wanted money but they didn't get any so they killed him. Then they entered his home and harassed his wife. Dr. Louis also leaves three sons, Wesley, Lennie, and Lu. These are great guys, really fine young men. They should not have been deprived of their father; they weren't ready for that. I know that my sons benefit from their father's counsel on a regular basis. I'm quite sure that the Louis boys did too. Lu posted a photo of the two of them, father and son, with the caption: my hero! These guys are in their late 20s and early 30s and they needed their father to be in their lives, share experiences, give guidance, pray for them, love them. I'm so angry with the young men who killed this good man. They didn't know who they were murdering; they had no idea. But they not only robbed Wesley, Lennie, and Lu of their father, they took a great leader out of a country that is rabidly desperate for reliable, righteous leaders! They took someone who had been the target of violence many times before, someone who didn't let that violence intimidate him, someone who stayed in Haiti when he could have taken his wife and retired to Florida. But he didn't. He stayed and worked and prayed and preached and helped and healed and now he's in heaven. Dr. Louis is at peace; he's better off. We're the ones left behind who are not only bereft and bereaved but absolutely furious at the injustice that seems to thrive all over Haiti. It really needs to stop... now... even though it's too late to help Dr. Louis.
Monday, March 08, 2010
Luxurious? That depends.
I get a little tired every time I read an article about Haiti and there is mention of the luxurious Hotel Montana. Sometimes it is mentioned in such a condescending manner, as though everything about it was just so.... rich amid the extreme poverty! I lived in Haiti for twelve years, traveled there regularly for an additional six... so eighteen years of Haitian life. I can tell you that I have stayed in far more luxurious hotels in Indiana or Texas or Florida or Wyoming for that matter! The Montana was a very nice Caribbean hotel but it really wasn't "over the top" in luxury. It was the hilltop location with the incredible views that made it so desirable. And yes, if you compared the hotel to the life of most Haitian people, it would have to be considered extremely luxurious, as would my home in Haiti - a simple, 1960s, American-built, cement block rambler on a Bible College campus in Pétion-ville. It's okay... I do understand why journalists have a need to refer to it in this way. It is a way of saying that this quake spared no one, not the rich and certainly not the poor. But the people who stayed there were not wasting the budget money of their organization. They weren't being excessive. They were staying in a place where they could probably be assured of having filtered, potable water, good food, and a decent night's sleep. That is, until dinner time on January 12th. Some of the people who lost their lives in the Montana collapse were rich, no doubt. But many were not; they were just - unfortunate.
Friday, March 05, 2010
Randomness
Today is weird. I left school early yesterday with tummy troubles, slept all afternoon and woke up feeling so much better. I planned for a sub today, Friday, so although I was feeling better, I stayed with the plan. A very long weekend (we have Monday off) is sometimes good for the soul. I really wanted to sleep in this morning but the City of Lacey has decided that some of us who live in the county need new water lines. Last year they tore up the west end of our lakeside development, now it's our turn. The house literally started shaking about 7:45. With all my Haitian EQ sympathy in over-drive, I was out of bed and looking for my bathrobe very quickly. Once I realized it wasn't an earthquake, I thought the construction crew must be right in front of my house but this is not the case. They are a full block away from us! I hope the house will still stand once they start tearing up the road in front of us.
Coffee... Biblegateway.com... Facebook... coffee... plus my funky music. I like channel 934 on cable. It's a new-agey, eastern-music-type channel and suits my moodiness today. While roaming through the Olympian online, I discovered my high school English teacher's obituary. That made me even more moody and rather sad. Mrs. Campbell was tall, wore long gauzy skirts and big funky earrings. She loved books and plays and was the first English teacher who didn't just pound grammar into my head but brought out one book after another, quietly, mysteriously, as though she was sharing secrets about buried treasure that she found in her backyard. I have always been a reader. Every Saturday of my childhood, rain or shine, my mother took my brother and me to the library. We always checked out a dozen books each. We were "required" to read for an hour every night. We read for hours and hours, with flashlights under the covers or hiding in the bathroom, pretending we needed to be there. All that to say, I've always loved to read. But Mrs. Campbell taught me the nuances of literature. She taught me about themes and symbolism, helped me see inside the heart of the protagonist and hate the antagonist. She was a lovely person. Her obit suggests that memorials be made to the "Friends of the Library" which seems so appropriate. She was 80 years old! Really? I have always thought of her as much younger.
Still feeling moody, I went outside and pulled weeds. The sun is shining. I want to go to Lowe's and get mulch but I'm not at school today because I was sick so my conscience won't let me leave until 3 o'clock. After two hours of yard work, I came in and started laundry, turned on the fire in my fabulous fireplace and read blogs. So many people have really interesting, desperate lives. I read all the Haiti blogs I can find and that intensifies my moodiness! Some of those blogs lead me to others where moms are dealing with challenging children, kids with serious, mind-numbing, energy-draining issues. I'm lying on my couch in my living room with my fabulously warm fireplace burning brightly, feeling a bit guilty and so very grateful for my ordinary life. The truth is that I lived 25+ years of drama and I found out that I actually prefer life without drama. I didn't think that could happen but I really enjoy life without drama. I have all I can handle with my junior high school students' drama; I don't need any of my own.
So my big plan for the day is to eat some soup, buy mulch (after 3 o'clock), and thank God all day, all night, for my ordinary, unexciting, rather peaceful life. I'll also thank Him because Mrs. Campbell taught my high school English class, because my tummy feels better, and because the sun is shining.
Coffee... Biblegateway.com... Facebook... coffee... plus my funky music. I like channel 934 on cable. It's a new-agey, eastern-music-type channel and suits my moodiness today. While roaming through the Olympian online, I discovered my high school English teacher's obituary. That made me even more moody and rather sad. Mrs. Campbell was tall, wore long gauzy skirts and big funky earrings. She loved books and plays and was the first English teacher who didn't just pound grammar into my head but brought out one book after another, quietly, mysteriously, as though she was sharing secrets about buried treasure that she found in her backyard. I have always been a reader. Every Saturday of my childhood, rain or shine, my mother took my brother and me to the library. We always checked out a dozen books each. We were "required" to read for an hour every night. We read for hours and hours, with flashlights under the covers or hiding in the bathroom, pretending we needed to be there. All that to say, I've always loved to read. But Mrs. Campbell taught me the nuances of literature. She taught me about themes and symbolism, helped me see inside the heart of the protagonist and hate the antagonist. She was a lovely person. Her obit suggests that memorials be made to the "Friends of the Library" which seems so appropriate. She was 80 years old! Really? I have always thought of her as much younger.
Still feeling moody, I went outside and pulled weeds. The sun is shining. I want to go to Lowe's and get mulch but I'm not at school today because I was sick so my conscience won't let me leave until 3 o'clock. After two hours of yard work, I came in and started laundry, turned on the fire in my fabulous fireplace and read blogs. So many people have really interesting, desperate lives. I read all the Haiti blogs I can find and that intensifies my moodiness! Some of those blogs lead me to others where moms are dealing with challenging children, kids with serious, mind-numbing, energy-draining issues. I'm lying on my couch in my living room with my fabulously warm fireplace burning brightly, feeling a bit guilty and so very grateful for my ordinary life. The truth is that I lived 25+ years of drama and I found out that I actually prefer life without drama. I didn't think that could happen but I really enjoy life without drama. I have all I can handle with my junior high school students' drama; I don't need any of my own.
So my big plan for the day is to eat some soup, buy mulch (after 3 o'clock), and thank God all day, all night, for my ordinary, unexciting, rather peaceful life. I'll also thank Him because Mrs. Campbell taught my high school English class, because my tummy feels better, and because the sun is shining.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Friday Night. Yes!
I'm so glad it's Friday. I always like Fridays, mostly because I love Saturday mornings spent leisurely beside the fire, but this week I just wanted school to be over! It's been nuts! Satan is determined to snatch our beautiful students away from the faith that has been cultivated in their lives, that they have chosen on their own; Satan is determined to destroy them. That's really what this is all about.
We have fought some pretty big battles this week. Some parents really understood, some thought we were wonderfully compassionate, some thought we were too harsh, and some were worried about their kids' feelings... p-l-e-a-s-e! Really? These kids made decisions that could have cost them their lives and we're supposed to worry that they might feel bad? I love teaching school; I love my students; I believe what I am doing is incredibly important for the future of the world. I really do mean that. But there are times when I wonder why some people are allowed to be parents. Okay... that's really an exaggeration. Actually it's nothing compared to what I just deleted.
When did it become a good idea to sacrifice our children's health and welfare, to say nothing of their spiritual destiny, for wimpy feelings? Do we understand that we need to set our standards high enough so our children have something serious to acquire? Do we comprehend the fact that kids need parameters? Boundaries? Limits? I read a four word phrase that is the new motto for my classroom - "Pursue excellence, not excuses!" And that's it. Now when a student wants to argue with me about something being too hard (whine, whine, whine) I point to the white board and state firmly "No Excuses!" and he quits the whining routine. He knows I mean it. I said he... it's usually a he.... no - it's always a he. Anyway, I'm distracted. It's time to step it up and do the hard thing because it's the right thing, not because it feels good. And if that means my week is tough, then my week is tough. I will not give in and accept mediocrity as the norm. My students will read more, write more, and understand that vivid verbs make life more interesting. I'm so glad it's Friday.
We have fought some pretty big battles this week. Some parents really understood, some thought we were wonderfully compassionate, some thought we were too harsh, and some were worried about their kids' feelings... p-l-e-a-s-e! Really? These kids made decisions that could have cost them their lives and we're supposed to worry that they might feel bad? I love teaching school; I love my students; I believe what I am doing is incredibly important for the future of the world. I really do mean that. But there are times when I wonder why some people are allowed to be parents. Okay... that's really an exaggeration. Actually it's nothing compared to what I just deleted.
When did it become a good idea to sacrifice our children's health and welfare, to say nothing of their spiritual destiny, for wimpy feelings? Do we understand that we need to set our standards high enough so our children have something serious to acquire? Do we comprehend the fact that kids need parameters? Boundaries? Limits? I read a four word phrase that is the new motto for my classroom - "Pursue excellence, not excuses!" And that's it. Now when a student wants to argue with me about something being too hard (whine, whine, whine) I point to the white board and state firmly "No Excuses!" and he quits the whining routine. He knows I mean it. I said he... it's usually a he.... no - it's always a he. Anyway, I'm distracted. It's time to step it up and do the hard thing because it's the right thing, not because it feels good. And if that means my week is tough, then my week is tough. I will not give in and accept mediocrity as the norm. My students will read more, write more, and understand that vivid verbs make life more interesting. I'm so glad it's Friday.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Battles, Who Wants 'Em!!!
Listen, This is what the LORD says to you: 'Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the battle is not yours, but God's. You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.'
Those were the words we were given before we went to the mission field in 1981. Tonight, after a really stress-filled day for both my husband and myself, I randomly googled the words: a word from the Lord, or something like that, and the title "The Battle is the Lord's" came up. It took me right back to that place, in Kansas City, so many years ago, when we received that very promise. I remember thinking that it was nice that the Lord would do this for us but the rest of the scenario didn't sound like much fun. It wasn't. And lately, life has not been fun.The Haiti quake was/is so incredibly tragic and difficult. Having lived and served there for so long, there was no way to just read about what was happening and let it go. It had a huge impact on us. And that very sentence sounds so stupidly selfish! But there are those who understand what I mean so I'm just going to leave it there. Lately there have been some things at school, kids and choices and consequences. It's probably true that no matter what decision was reached, someone would have been angry about it but it's awful to feel like we've let people down, especially after trying so hard to seek the Lord's direction and act compassionately, as we really believe Jesus would have responded.
So it all comes back to the battles. Sigh... I guess it's time to get the armor on and get back in the fight. Frankly, I'm sick and tired of fighting; I'd like to see some serious victories for once! I'll keep trusting and praying and yes, even standing firm... for however long it takes... in order to see the deliverance the Lord has for us.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
The Fire
I love my house. It's a simple ranch-style rambler that we bought from my husband's mother. It doesn't look anything like it did when they owned it. They painted all the walls bright white because they like light. I do too but I also like color so all the walls had to be painted when we bought it. They had while carpet throughout, except where there was some linoleum in the kitchen. The pad under the carpet must have been used through a couple carpet changes because it was rotten and smelly. We replaced all of it, even replaced the sub-floors under the hardwoods in the hallway, kitchen, and family room and the carpet in one bedroom. We removed three or four layers of wallpaper from several rooms and painted. But probably the coolest thing we did was reface the fireplace. It was painted white brick with a marble slab hearth and no mantle. Very contemporary. We are very "wish we had a log cabin by the lake style" people so this was where we decided to bring in that feeling. We borrowed one of my brother's employees who covered the painted brick with masonry board. Then Jeff, my brother, arranged for a crew of masons to come in and set the cultured field-stone. Another of his friends made our mantle from a thick slab of old oak that he found in his brother's barn. It still has some of the bark around the bottom edge. We added a wrought-iron type fireplace insert and voilà , a gorgeous, rustic fireplace that puts out a ton of heat! It's where we begin our days throughout the fall and winter, and sometimes where we spend our evenings. It's where I am right now and I'm irritated because I have to leave. It's Saturday morning and I'm supposed to be in choir practice in 25 minutes. I'm still in my bathrobe, in front of the fire. I want to stay here. I'm irritated because it's Saturday morning and my tradition is being disturbed. Oh well, I like to sing too, just not as much as I like to sit by the fire with coffee and graze through computer posts, news articles, and my new issue of Cabin Living that just arrived. But as I often tell my junior high students, life is full of doing stuff you don't want to do, so just do it. (I'm usually talking about homework.) So I'd better get dressed and go. Good-bye computer, good-bye Cabin Living, good-bye coffee, good-bye fire... sigh...
Thursday, February 18, 2010
He has what???!!!
Today one of my seventh grade students told me her dad has brain cancer. She said it in a rather matter-of-fact way, obviously thinking I already knew. I didn't. I was not happy... how had I missed such a valuable insight into this young girl's life? I thought over the previous semester, hoping I wouldn't remember any emails complaining about anything to her parents, hoping I had not missed a significant cue from her mother while chatting somewhere on a field trip, hoping my evident shock wouldn't hurt this child's feelings. She told me that she thought I knew; she thought everyone knew. There are some things that don't get communicated or when they do, they don't really mean anything because we don't know who the people mentioned are. (Yep, the other junior high teachers didn't know either!) I think that's what must have happened here; we were probably told but since we are on the upper level of the school, we didn't know the student whose father was so sick. She told me this afternoon that she was going home with a friend because her mom was taking her dad for an MRI. He's having seizures. Oh my.... what else don't I know? She is so sweet and young, much too young to imagine what is going to happen if God doesn't intervene. So I have another reason to count my blessings. She and I shared stories about cancer hospitals; she had been in several with her dad and I had become super familiar with one in Texas while my husband received treatment over a five-year period. She talked about the hot chocolate that her mom bought her - that wasn't hot - until she pressed a button on the jar and it heated up! That sounded kind of cool. I mean, if someone can invent something that heats up chocolate milk without a stove, maybe they know how to fix a young father's brain so he can be a part of his daughter's life - or - maybe not. Sadness...
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Uneventful... right!
I am ready for an uneventful day, week, month! When was the last time life was uneventful? I usually employ this word when talking about a flight. Someone will ask, "How was your flight?" to which I am always happy to reply "Uneventful!" Then they usually tell me that's the best kind. And I always agree. I don't know about you but I'm ready to slow down, deal with life on a less dramatic level! Teaching junior high is always about drama; I've come to expect that and I can deal with it rather easily. However, there are other things that happen with school, family, just life since that Tuesday five weeks ago... uneventful flew out the window. I think I want it back. So, if anyone finds the uneventful just lying around with no where to go, tell him he's welcome at my house. I'm tired of drama and I'd like to get back to basics... with the uneventful!
Friday, February 05, 2010
The Perfect Evening
I have a completely different way of relaxing from most people I know. Mine involves little kids! If you want to completely forget whatever problems might be weighing you down, hang out with some kids, preferably younger than junior high. There's non-stop drama that comes with junior high.
This week Colton turned six years old. You have no idea how impossible that seems! Although whenever I try to pick him up, I do realize that he really is getting quite big! We had such fun with him tonight, and his sisters, and his parents. We went to Chuck E. Cheese. It was total mayhem; yep - perfect. Noise and kids and laughter and noise and... well, you get the idea. We thought that getting there around 5:30 would help us avoid the crowd. Seems like a couple hundred other people thought the same thing! It was wild! But our kids were so sweet and well-behaved. Once I was trailing Sierra, not realizing that she had no idea I was behind her. When she finally saw me she was quite perturbed and let me know that she "couldn't find me!" Poor baby, she felt lost! Colton has no fear... went from one game to another, would try anything. If someone was with him, fine; if he thought he was on his own, that was no problem either. Kayla was pretty focused on acquiring as many tickets as possible. It helped that the basketball thing freaked out and spit out a ton of tickets! That was fun!
These children force me to refocus and consider the blessings in my life. They are so precious and I am so wealthy with all that matters! Ever since the Haiti quake, Terry and I have used the phrase "Let me put that into perspective for you" (and begin our rant on the conditions in Haiti) anytime anyone feels like complaining about anything. Being around my grandchildren allows me to put things into perspective also. I look at them and see the future; I am totally confident that the world will be a better place because they will be there to shape it. I believe in them, in the young adults who are parenting them, in my loving Heavenly Father who is guiding them. Yep, I think I'll just sit here and contemplate my perfect evening... and be thankful!
This week Colton turned six years old. You have no idea how impossible that seems! Although whenever I try to pick him up, I do realize that he really is getting quite big! We had such fun with him tonight, and his sisters, and his parents. We went to Chuck E. Cheese. It was total mayhem; yep - perfect. Noise and kids and laughter and noise and... well, you get the idea. We thought that getting there around 5:30 would help us avoid the crowd. Seems like a couple hundred other people thought the same thing! It was wild! But our kids were so sweet and well-behaved. Once I was trailing Sierra, not realizing that she had no idea I was behind her. When she finally saw me she was quite perturbed and let me know that she "couldn't find me!" Poor baby, she felt lost! Colton has no fear... went from one game to another, would try anything. If someone was with him, fine; if he thought he was on his own, that was no problem either. Kayla was pretty focused on acquiring as many tickets as possible. It helped that the basketball thing freaked out and spit out a ton of tickets! That was fun!
These children force me to refocus and consider the blessings in my life. They are so precious and I am so wealthy with all that matters! Ever since the Haiti quake, Terry and I have used the phrase "Let me put that into perspective for you" (and begin our rant on the conditions in Haiti) anytime anyone feels like complaining about anything. Being around my grandchildren allows me to put things into perspective also. I look at them and see the future; I am totally confident that the world will be a better place because they will be there to shape it. I believe in them, in the young adults who are parenting them, in my loving Heavenly Father who is guiding them. Yep, I think I'll just sit here and contemplate my perfect evening... and be thankful!
Monday, February 01, 2010
Life Ongoing
There is a sense of guilt at moving on with my life after the past two weeks of total Haiti focus. I still pray continuously. I still search Facebook daily. I still network for people who have needs and match them with contacts I know who have resources, but I have also started to focus more on my own life and responsibilities.
Recently I was asked to write an article for a magazine. If it had been anything other than the history of my denomination in Haiti I probably would have made the time to do it. It just seemed like such a silly topic right now, almost more divisive than helpful. It didn't matter; they asked a guy who had previously written a book on the subject. I seriously do not care about that. I do care about individuals, peoples' lives and stories, their sorrows and triumphs. I care that the body of a little seven year old boy was pulled from the rubble of the Montana Hotel a couple days ago. I care about his family and friends. I care about the young mother who died at Caribbean Market and left behind children and a husband and many friends who are heart-broken by this loss. I care about all the students, especially high school students, who have had their lives interrupted in a very unfriendly fashion - if they managed to stay alive! I know that they will face long-term consequences from these experiences. There's a lot I really care about.
However, I also care about my junior high students who are trying to resolve their personal dramas, whether it's a new baby unexpectedly coming into the family or a parent who has made horrible choices that have compromised a daughter's emotional well-being. I care about boys who don't want to read but do it anyway because they want to play basketball during lunch break, not sit in my classroom and read. I care about prayerfully finding quality speakers for the junior high chapels so that they aren't boring or aimless but are events that change lives forever. I care about providing my husband with a decent meal and clean clothes, enjoying random moments with friends, hugging a grandchild who is going to be six! I don't want to feel guilty about caring about these things because people are dying in Haiti.
So I think I'm just going to care about everything; I might have less guilt this way. Brian always said, "Dad, you should care!" over and over and over he would say this to his father, just to tease him. And we should care. I do; I care. I know I care because it hurts more than I ever imagined it might. Sigh....
Recently I was asked to write an article for a magazine. If it had been anything other than the history of my denomination in Haiti I probably would have made the time to do it. It just seemed like such a silly topic right now, almost more divisive than helpful. It didn't matter; they asked a guy who had previously written a book on the subject. I seriously do not care about that. I do care about individuals, peoples' lives and stories, their sorrows and triumphs. I care that the body of a little seven year old boy was pulled from the rubble of the Montana Hotel a couple days ago. I care about his family and friends. I care about the young mother who died at Caribbean Market and left behind children and a husband and many friends who are heart-broken by this loss. I care about all the students, especially high school students, who have had their lives interrupted in a very unfriendly fashion - if they managed to stay alive! I know that they will face long-term consequences from these experiences. There's a lot I really care about.
However, I also care about my junior high students who are trying to resolve their personal dramas, whether it's a new baby unexpectedly coming into the family or a parent who has made horrible choices that have compromised a daughter's emotional well-being. I care about boys who don't want to read but do it anyway because they want to play basketball during lunch break, not sit in my classroom and read. I care about prayerfully finding quality speakers for the junior high chapels so that they aren't boring or aimless but are events that change lives forever. I care about providing my husband with a decent meal and clean clothes, enjoying random moments with friends, hugging a grandchild who is going to be six! I don't want to feel guilty about caring about these things because people are dying in Haiti.
So I think I'm just going to care about everything; I might have less guilt this way. Brian always said, "Dad, you should care!" over and over and over he would say this to his father, just to tease him. And we should care. I do; I care. I know I care because it hurts more than I ever imagined it might. Sigh....
Monday, January 25, 2010
Need distracting? Call in the grandchildren!
It has been hard for me to tear myself away from the TV and computer. Everything that seems like it might be about Haiti grabs my attention immediately. It's exhausting - and I feel guilty about that. I'm tired from school and I feel terrible because my day hasn't been a tenth as stressful as those who are trying to rebuild in Haiti! Yesterday I really needed a break and it happened... in walked the grandchildren! Kayla (9.5) got into the craft bin almost immediately and began making all kinds of adorable things. I kept digging in my baskets and bins for more ribbon and stickers and other items to help her. Colton (6 -2 weeks) said, "Hi Grandma; where's Grandpa?" They are such buddies! Sierra (2.5) just wanted to cuddle. Saturday morning we i-chatted with Brian, Erin, and Gracie! Our baby granddaughter is growing so quickly. She certainly can talk ~ and in complete sentences that make total sense! Wow! I really miss her! It is good to focus on life, on this next generation that will carry the word of God into our world. Oh how I love my little ones!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Too Tired!
I can tell there's some let-down coming on. I am so very tired. I shut off the television. I love to watch NCIS and HGTV but now, in this post Haiti-quake world, I feel guilty when I watch TV for pleasure. As tired as I am, I think about those in Haiti, the victims, the relief workers, the missionaries and others who live there all the time and are now working around the clock. Their fatigue is immeasurable! The sorrow, the anger, the desperation. God help them! So I will go to bed early (probably wake up at 4!) and fall asleep praying for Haiti and wake up praying for Haiti and go through my day... praying for Haiti. Today, tomorrow, and every day for a very long time. I am grateful that the Lord is with us always - even now - at the end of the age!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
On the front lines
I am worried about my friends, ex-patriots who live and serve in Haiti. It's not just their safety or having enough food and water but it is their mental and emotional health that concerns me. Some of these people were over-worked and totally stressed before the quake. I can't imagine how troubled they are now. I hope there will be people who step up and help them get a break out of the country. Even if they just head to the DR and relax at the beach for a long weekend, that might give them the emotional ability to continue. Most of these friends don't have the money to do anything for themselves and the fact that they are in Haiti in the first place speaks to their attitude of self-denial. They wouldn't think of spending money on themselves like that. But I know that a few days of rest would make a huge difference for most of them. It's only been a week. Most of them are working fourteen hour days and seeing things that people just are not prepared to deal with over and over again. This cannot continue, certainly not long-term. And this situation is going to keep demanding attention for a long, long time. God help them! God deliver Haiti!
Monday, January 18, 2010
God, Come Quickly
Why did it take such a tragedy to get me writing my blog again? I had so many good reasons to post before now. I have the finest husband in the world. I have two sons, of whom I am incredibly proud who each had the good sense to marry fabulous women who are the best mothers in the world. I have four grandchildren who are nearly perfect. I'm so glad they aren't because I believe perfection in children is highly overrated! I teach terrific junior high school students who are striving to become responsible leaders in the world that they will inherit from us. I have one high school class, three-quarters of whom I had as 8th graders. It is so fun to see what two years have done to them! It is not as though I haven't had a decent thought in my head over the past year and a half. It's not like I haven't been ready to argue a point, or two or three or more. But here I am, overwhelmed by the sadness in Haiti. Understanding the sense of what this will mean. It means re-creation not simply rebuilding. Will the world stay connected long enough or are we so ADHD that we allow the Golden Globes, Mafia Mania and other stupid things to take over. I've been thinking about Mark 13. Jesus tells us to get ready, that terrible things are going to happen and among those things are the wars (stupidity) and earthquakes (tragedy) and disease (so preventable) and changes in our sun, moon, and stars (environmental issues?). So discouraging, so troubling, so frightening. But he also said THEN HE WILL COME AGAIN. Oh God, come quickly!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
My mind; I miss it!
I think I have lost my mind. Ever since Tuesday when the earthquake hit Haiti - a 7.0 in the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere... Are you kidding? We lived in Haiti for twelve years, worked there for eighteen. These are people who scrape and labor and work so hard! My dad taught me that if you work hard enough, you will succeed. Dad was usually right, but he never went to Haiti. People work like crazy and still don't have enough to feed their families. And now... an earthquake of Biblical proportions. I am so angry. For pity sake, why? This is so cruel! I have faith, I believe in God, but right now I certainly don't get it. However, if this amount of death and pain is for some reason required of people, who are so poor and broken already by four huge hurricanes just two years ago, then I am ready for an equally major miracle of Biblical proportions!
I guess I do see some miracles. Not just the lives saved from the rubble, but the lives of some of my former students, people of privilege who truly enjoyed their lives in Haiti. They partied and danced and played at the beach. They have plenty of resources, could easily go to Miami or elsewhere to escape this mess but they aren't doing that. They are staying, working amid the rubble to save people, working in the hospitals to translate for doctors as they operate on the suffering. Getting absolutely dirty with the blood and dirt and grime of their broken country. Augh! My God, help Haiti; help my students to rise up, do good things in bad times, and to truly know that you are God. Help Haiti to heal. Help me find my mind... in You.
I guess I do see some miracles. Not just the lives saved from the rubble, but the lives of some of my former students, people of privilege who truly enjoyed their lives in Haiti. They partied and danced and played at the beach. They have plenty of resources, could easily go to Miami or elsewhere to escape this mess but they aren't doing that. They are staying, working amid the rubble to save people, working in the hospitals to translate for doctors as they operate on the suffering. Getting absolutely dirty with the blood and dirt and grime of their broken country. Augh! My God, help Haiti; help my students to rise up, do good things in bad times, and to truly know that you are God. Help Haiti to heal. Help me find my mind... in You.
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